Vulgar words in Fantastic Fables (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS NEW YORK AND LONDON The Knickerbocker Press _1899_ Contents: The Moral Principle and the Material Interest The Crimson Candle The Blotted Escutcheon and the Soiled Ermine The Ingenious Patriot Two Kings An Officer and a Thug The Conscientious Official How Leisure Came The Moral Sentiment The Politicians The Thoughtful Warden The Treasury and the Arms The Christian Serpent The Broom of the Temple The Critics The Foolish Woman Father and Son The Discontented Malefactor A Call to Quit The Man and the Lightning The Lassoed Bear The Ineffective Rooter A Protagonist of Silver The Holy Deacon A Hasty Settlement The Wooden Guns The Reform School Board The Poet's Doom The Noser and the Note The Cat and the King The Literary Astronomer The Lion and the Rattlesnake The Man with No Enemies The Alderman and the Raccoon The Flying-Machine The Angel's Tear The City of Political Distinction The Party Over There The Poetess of Reform The Unchanged Diplomatist An Invitation The Ashes of Madame Blavatsky The Opossum of the Future The Life-Savers The Australian Grasshopper The Pavior The Tried Assassin The Bumbo of Jiam The Two Poets The Thistles upon the Grave The Shadow of the Leader The Sagacious Rat The Member and the Soap Alarm and Pride A Causeway Two in Trouble The Witch's Steed The All Dog The Farmer's Friend Physicians Two The Overlooked Factor A Racial Parallel The Honest Cadi The Kangaroo and the Zebra A Matter of Method The Man of Principle The Returned Californian The Compassionate Physician Two of the Damned The Austere Governor Religions of Error The Penitent Elector The Tail of the Sphinx A Prophet of Evil The Crew of the Life-boat A Treaty of Peace The Nightside of Character The Faithful Cashier The Circular Clew The Devoted Widow The Hardy Patriots The Humble Peasant The Various Delegation The No Case A Harmless Visitor The Judge and the Rash Act The Prerogative of Might An Inflated Ambition Rejected Services The Power of the Scalawag At Large--One Temper The Seeker and the Sought His Fly-Speck Majesty The Pugilist's Diet The Old Man and the Pupil The Deceased and his Heirs The Politicians and the Plunder The Man and the Wart The Divided Delegation A Forfeited Right Revenge An Optimist A Valuable Suggestion Two Footpads Equipped for Service The Basking Cyclone At the Pole The Optimist and the Cynic The Poet and the Editor The Taken Hand An Unspeakable Imbecile A Needful War The Mine Owner and the Jackass The Dog and the Physician The Party Manager and the Gentleman.
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The first speaker thought the best policy would be to offer a fried jackass to the gods.
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Wherefore he was held in high reverence, and when the two other gentlemen were hanged for lying the Theosophists elected him to the leadership of their Disastral Body, and after a quiet life and an honourable death by the kick of a jackass he was reincarnated as a Yellow Dog.
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The Mine Owner and the Jackass While the Owner of a Silver Mine was on his way to attend a convention of his species he was accosted by a Jackass, who said: "By an unjust discrimination against quadrupeds I am made ineligible to a seat in your convention; so I am compelled to seek representation through you."
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"May jackasses sing above my uncle's grave," replied Camaraladdin, "if I dared go within a league of him!"
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A Transposition Travelling through the sage-brush country a Jackass met a rabbit, who exclaimed in great astonishment: "Good heavens!
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"No," said the Jackass, "you are the smallest donkey."
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And you"--to the other--"are correctly described as a jackass.
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And Echo wearily replied, "Oh, damn."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,239 ~ ~ ~
The Lion, the Cock, and the Ass A Lion was about to attack a braying Ass, when a Cock near by crowed shrilly, and the Lion ran away.