Vulgar words in The Devil's Dictionary (Page 1)
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 198 ~ ~ ~
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
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"Hail, holy Ass!" the quiring angels sing; "Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!"
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CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 492 ~ ~ ~
This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities.
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D DAMN, v. A word formerly much used by the Paphlagonians, the meaning of which is lost.
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Of shreds and patches his robes are wrought, His crown is brass, Himself an ass, And his power is fiddle-dee-dee.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale.
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Each reckons greatness to consist In that in which he heads the list, And Vierick thinks he tops his class Because he is the greatest ass.
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In the painting of the Nativity, by Szedgkin, a pious artist of Pesth, not only do the Virgin and the Child wear the nimbus, but an ass nibbling hay from the sacred manger is similarly decorated and, to his lasting honor be it said, appears to bear his unaccustomed dignity with a truly saintly grace.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,591 ~ ~ ~
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three, "Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
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But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before, but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its hinder hooves--as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before discerned but feared to report.
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Having a grandeur or splendor superior to that to which the spectator is accustomed, as the ears of an ass, to a rabbit, or the glory of a glowworm, to a maggot.
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QUILL, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass.
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RELIQUARY, n. A receptacle for such sacred objects as pieces of the true cross, short-ribs of the saints, the ears of Balaam's ass, the lung of the cock that called Peter to repentance and so forth.
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"Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!" roared the sovereign--"why didst thou but lightly tap the neck that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?"
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,029 ~ ~ ~
In Naples and ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,104 ~ ~ ~
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.