Vulgar words in Sketches New and Old (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 421 ~ ~ ~
That ass, Blossom, of the Higginsville Thunderbolt and Battle Cry of Freedom, is down here again sponging at the Van Buren.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 628 ~ ~ ~
And so 'twill be when I'm aground These yearly duns will still go round, While other bards, with frantic quills, Shall damn and damn these annual bills!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 30 ~ ~ ~
"SIMON WHEELER," Sonora.-The following simple and touching remarks and accompanying poem have just come to hand from the rich gold-mining region of Sonora: To Mr. Mark Twain: The within parson, which I have set to poetry under the name and style of "He Done His Level Best," was one among the whitest men I ever see, and it ain't every man that knowed him that can find it in his heart to say he's glad the poor cuss is busted and gone home to the States.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 42 ~ ~ ~
He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray, And dance and drink and jest, And lie and steal-all one to him- He done his level best.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 88 ~ ~ ~
Now, according to this view of the case, Jones married a spinster, who was a widow at the same time and another man's wife at the same time, and yet who had no husband and never had one, and never had any intention of getting married, and therefore, of course, never had been married; and by the same reasoning you are a bachelor, because you have never been any one's husband; and a married man, because you have a wife living; and to all intents and purposes a widower, because you have been deprived of that wife; and a consummate ass for going off to Benicia in the first place, while things were so mixed.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 81 ~ ~ ~
What did that driveling ass of a Schuyler stand in the wake of a runaway horse for, with his shouting and gesticulating, if he wanted to stop him?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 144 ~ ~ ~
"What, hussy!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 678 ~ ~ ~
An' dey sole my ole man, an' took him away, an' dey begin to sell my chil'en an' take dem away, an' I begin to cry; an' de man say, 'Shet up yo' damn blubberin',' an' hit me on de mouf wid his han'.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 235 ~ ~ ~
But I am tired out-entirely fagged out.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 247 ~ ~ ~
Think how you would feel if you had made such an ass of yourself."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 268 ~ ~ ~
What does that Arkansas ass know about it?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 615 ~ ~ ~
Cuss'd if I want any breakfast!"
~ ~ ~ Sentence 33 ~ ~ ~
Relations bound to have it so-don't pay no attention to dying injunctions, minute a corpse's gone; but, if I had my way, if I didn't respect his last wishes and tow him behind the hearse I'll be cuss'd.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 274 ~ ~ ~
He even said I was an ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 293 ~ ~ ~
The Secretary of the Treasury said: "This is the meddlesome ass that came to recommend me to put poetry and conundrums in my report, as if it were an almanac."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 325 ~ ~ ~
"Before anybody could get off an opinion in the case the innocent old ass at the piano struck up: "Come rise up, William Ri-i-ley, And go along with me!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 388 ~ ~ ~
He floundered around, though, and finally rose up out of the water considerably strangled and furiously angry, and started ashore at once, spouting water like a whale, and remarking, with great asperity, that "one o' dese days some gen'l'man's nigger gwyne to get killed wid jis' such damn foolishness as dis!"