Vulgar words in Miss Billy (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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INTRODUCING SPUNK VIII.
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Imagine me and Spunk living there!
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Oh, by the way, you don't mind my bringing Spunk, do you?
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I hope you don't, for I couldn't live without Spunk, and he couldn't live with out me.
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"And this--er--'Spunk'; do you take him, too?
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I forgot Spunk," acknowledged Bertram.
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"Say, what in time is Spunk, do you suppose?"
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"Well, whatever he is, you will kindly keep Spunk down-stairs," said Cyril with decision.
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"Hm-m; well, judging by his name," murmured Bertram, apologetically, "it may be just possible that Spunk won't be easily controlled.
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Whether it's a dog, or a parrot, or--or a monkey, I shall expect you to keep Spunk down-stairs.
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Then he'll have Spunk, too," murmured Bertram, mischievously.
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"Spunk!" cried Kate.
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He wrote that he hoped we wouldn't mind his bringing Spunk with him."
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"Who's Spunk?
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We mustn't forget--Spunk."
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"What's Spunk?"
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I forgot Spunk.
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CHAPTER VII INTRODUCING SPUNK In the soft April twilight Cyril was playing a dreamy waltz when Bertram knocked, and pushed open the door.
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"Now when Spunk and I get to training--oh, and you haven't seen Spunk!" she interrupted herself suddenly.
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"There, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Spunk."
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"And so that is Spunk!" choked Bertram.
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"This is Spunk."
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No one thought to ask if she cared to go up to her room, and during the entire fifteen minutes Billy sat on the floor with Spunk in her lap.
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Billy stood at her chair with Spunk in her arms.
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"A chair, please, I said, for Spunk, you know.
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Spunk always sits at the table right next to me."
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Of course Spunk is little, and makes mistakes sometimes.
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When Bertram, a little red of face, but very grave, entered, the dining-room a moment later, he found the family seated with Spunk snugly placed between Billy and a plainly disgusted and dismayed brother, Cyril.
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Even Spunk was not entirely happy--his efforts to investigate the table and its contents were too frequently curbed by his mistress for his unalloyed satisfaction.
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Bertram talked, indeed--but Bertram always talked; and very soon he and Billy had things pretty much to themselves--that is, with occasional interruptions caused by Spunk.
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Spunk had an inquisitive nose or paw for each new dish placed before his mistress; and Billy spent much time admonishing him.
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Billy said she was training him; that it was wonderful what training would do, and, of course, Spunk WAS little, now.
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Dinner was half over when there was a slight diversion created by Spunk's conclusion to get acquainted with the silent man at his left.
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Cyril, however, did not respond to Spunk's advances.
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Spunk is trying to say 'How do you do'?"
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And Spunk isn't a bit like those."
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And there was not one in the room at that moment who did not bless Spunk--for Spunk suddenly leaped to the table before him; and in the ensuing confusion his mistress quite forgot to question further concerning Mrs. Hartwell's stratum.
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There was some delay, even then, for Spunk had to be provided with sleeping quarters; and it was not without some hesitation that Billy finally placed the kitten in the reluctant hands of Pete, who had been hastily summoned.
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"Of course Billy's got Spunk, but--" he hesitated, and smiled a little.
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"Spunk.
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"Spunk is a cat."
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She even told Mrs. Hartwell at parting that little Kate was almost as nice as Spunk--which remark, oddly enough, did not appear to please Mrs. Hartwell to the extent that Billy thought that it would.
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How Spunk will like this room!"
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CHAPTER XI BERTRAM HAS VISITORS Spunk did not change his name; but that was perhaps the only thing that did not meet with some sort of change during the weeks that immediately followed Billy's arrival.
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As to Spunk's name--it was not Mrs. Stetson's fault that even that was left undisturbed.
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Mrs. Stetson early became acquainted with Spunk.
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She was introduced to him, indeed, on the night of her arrival--though fortunately not at table: William had seen to it that Spunk did not appear at dinner, though to accomplish this the man had been obliged to face the amazed and grieved indignation of the kitten's mistress.
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"Oh, but she doesn't know Spunk," Billy had observed then, hopefully.
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Mrs. Stetson began to "know" Spunk the next day.
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The immediate source of her knowledge was the discovery that Spunk had found her ball of black knitting yarn, and had delightedly captured it.
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And Spunk is the present," she added, when she had extricated the small gray cat.
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Spunk's name changed?" demanded Billy, in a horrified voice.
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And you'll love Spunk, too, I'm sure you will.
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In Aunt Hannah's black silk lap Spunk stretched luxuriously, and blinked sleepy eyes; then with a long purr of content he curled himself for another nap--still Spunk.
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"It's I--Spunk and I.
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The first stroke of his brush against the canvas was to Spunk a challenge; and Spunk never refused a challenge.
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"Tut, tut--no, no--naughty Spunk!
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I must politely ask Spunk to desist."
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Tiring at last of this, she suggested Spunk as a substitute, remarking that, after all, cats--pretty cats like Spunk--were even nicer to paint than girls.
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She rescued Spunk then from the paint-box where he had been holding high carnival with Bertram's tubes of paint, and demanded if Bertram ever saw a more delightful, more entrancing, more altogether-to-be-desired model.
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Even Spunk was left behind--Billy remembered her prospective host's aversion to cats.
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You see, I didn't bring Spunk.
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He declared that between them, Billy and Spunk had caused such an upheaval that there was no telling where one stratum left off and another began.
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What Billy had not attended to, Spunk had, he said.
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Naturally, then, such feminine belongings as fancy-work, thread, thimbles, and hairpins are due to show up at any time either in Cyril's apartments or mine--to say nothing of William's; and she's in William's lots--to look for Spunk, if for no other purpose.
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"You must know that Spunk likes William's floor the best of the bunch, there are so many delightful things to play with.
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Not that Spunk stays there--dear me, no.
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Spunk, too, as if in league with the rest, took this opportunity to display one of his occasional fits of independence; and when Billy, longing for some sort of comfort, called him to her, he settled back on his tiny haunches and imperturbably winked and blinked his indifference.
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On the fourth day, almost before the family realized what was happening, she was gone; and with her had gone Mrs. Stetson and Spunk.
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it looks like Spunk."
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He told her, too, after a time, of the gray kitten, "Spunkie," that looked so much like Spunk.
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And that reminds me, I wonder how Spunk will get along with Spunkie.
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Long years ago, from the first of April till June we did have two frolicsome sprites here that announced themselves as 'Billy' and 'Spunk,' I'll own.
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"You see," William had explained to Bertram, "I put on that ribbon again because I thought it would make Spunkie seem more homelike, and more like Spunk.
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"Yes, I know," Bertram had laughed; "but still, Spunkie isn't Spunk, you understand!" he had finished, with a vision in his eyes of Billy as she had looked that first night when she had triumphantly lifted from the green basket the little gray kitten with its enormous pink bow.
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"Indeed we did," asserted Bertram, promptly; "and we have done everything to get ready for you, too, even to rigging up Spunkie to masquerade as Spunk.
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"Well, you might run across a snag there.
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All these, together with a canary, and a kitten as near like Spunk as could be obtained, made Billy's household.
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"Billy, can you imagine Bertram's making love in real earnest to a girl?"
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"Hugh, I don't believe Bertram himself could make love any more nonsensically than you can!"
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"He treats me exactly as he treated poor little Spunk that first night," Billy declared hotly to herself.