Vulgar words in The Adventures of Roderick Random (Page 1)
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 26 ~ ~ ~
APOLOGUE A young painter, indulging a vein of pleasantry, sketched a kind of conversation piece, representing a bear, an owl, a monkey, and an ass; and to render it more striking, humorous, and moral, distinguished every figure by some emblem of human life.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 36 ~ ~ ~
In vain the astonished painter declared that he had no intention to give offence, or to characterise particular persons: they affirmed the resemblance was too palpable to be overlooked; they taxed him with insolence, malice, and ingratitude; and their clamours being overheard by the public, the captain was a bear, the doctor an ass, and the senator an owl, to his dying day.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 194 ~ ~ ~
The surly lieutenant, who was not in a humour to relish this amusement, replied, "You and your dogs may be damn'd.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 229 ~ ~ ~
My uncle bade him have a little patience, and he would let him in presently; but if he pretended to stir from that place, it should fare the worse with the son of a bitch his superior, on whom he intended only to bestow a little wholesome chastisement, for his barbarous usage of Rory, "to which," said he, "you are no stranger."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 353 ~ ~ ~
I gave him a thousand thanks for his obliging offer (although I was very well apprised of his motive, which was no other than a design to lay the bastard to my charge after my departure), and accordingly set out in a few weeks for London; my whole fortune consisting of one suit of clothes, half a dozen ruffled shirts, as many plain, two pair of worsted and a like number of threaded stockings; a case of pocket instruments, a small edition of Horace, Wiseman's Surgery, and ten guineas in cash; for which Crab took my bond, bearing five per cent interest; at the same time giving me a letter to a member of parliament for our town, which he said would do my business effectually.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,652 ~ ~ ~
Now we lying at anchor in Tuberon Bay, Lieutenant Bowling had the middle watch, and as he always kept a good look out, he made (d'ye see) three lights in the offing, whereby he ran down to the great cabin for orders, and found the captain asleep; whereupon he waked him, which put him in a main high passion, and he swore woundily at the lieutenant, and called him lousy Scotch son of a whore (for, I being then sentinel in the steerage, heard all), and swab, and lubber, whereby the lieutenant returned the salute, and they jawed together fore and aft a good spell, till at last the captain turned out, and, laying hold of a rattan, came athwart Mr. Bowling's quarter: whereby he told the captain that, if he was not his commander, he would heave him overboard, and demanded satisfaction ashore; whereby in the morning watch, the captain went ashore in the pinnace, and afterwards the lieutenant carried the cutter ashore, and so they, leaving the boats' crews on their oars, went away together; and so (d'ye see) in less than a quarter of an hour we heard firing, whereby we made for the place, and found the captain lying wounded on the beach, and so brought him on board to the doctor, who cured him in less than six weeks.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,664 ~ ~ ~
I had no sooner uttered these words, than he cried, "Damn you, you saucy son of a hitch, I'll teach you to talk so to your officer."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,701 ~ ~ ~
Cot pless my soul I does he think, or conceive, or imagine, that I am a horse, or an ass, or a goat, to trudge backwards and forwards, and upwards and downwards, and by sea and by land; at his will and pleasure?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,940 ~ ~ ~
This evidence was confirmed by the boy, who affirmed, he heard the first mate say, that the captain had no more bowels than a bear, and the surgeon had no more brain than an ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,946 ~ ~ ~
Upon which the captain, strutting up to him with a ferocious countenance, said, "So Mr. son of a bitch, you confess you honoured me with the names of bear and beast, and pronounced my damnation?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,950 ~ ~ ~
Upon which the Cambro-Briton, who on this occasion would have made no submission to the Great Mogul, surrounded with his guards, thanked the doctor for his mediation, and acknowledged himself in the wrong for calling the image of Cot a peast, "but," said he, "I spoke by metaphor, and parable, and comparison, and types; as we signify meekness by a lamb, lechery by a goat, and craftiness by a fox; so we liken ignorance to an ass, and brutality to a bear, and fury to a tiger; therefore I made use of these similes to express my sentiments (look you), and what I said before Cot, I will not unsay before man nor peast neither."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,097 ~ ~ ~
Not that I would be thought to liken any public concern to that opprobrious part of the human body, though I might with truth assert, if I durst use such a vulgar idiom, that the nation did hang on arse at its disappointment on this occasion; neither would I presume to compare the capacity of our heroic leaders to any such wooden convenience as a joint-stool or a close-stool; but only to signify by this simile, the mistake the people committed in trusting to the union of two instruments that were never joined.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,739 ~ ~ ~
If I should settle as a surgeon in my own country, I would find the business already overstocked; or, if I pretended to set up in England, must labour under want of friends and powerful opposition, obstacles insurmountable by the most shining merit: neither should I succeed in my endeavours to rise in the state, inasmuch as I could neither flatter nor pimp for courtiers, nor prostitute my pen in defence of a wicked and contemptible administration.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,035 ~ ~ ~
Billy Chatter, being unable to speak or stand, was sent to a bagnio; and Banter and I accompanied Bragwell to Moll King's coffee-house, where after he had kicked half a dozen hungry whores, we left him asleep on a bench, and directed our course towards Charing-cross, near which place both he and I lodged.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,119 ~ ~ ~
This last hypothesis touched me so nearly that, to conceal my confusion, I was fain to interrupt his detail, and damn the world for an envious meddling community, that would not suffer a gentleman to live without molestation.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,153 ~ ~ ~
You may remember, that, when you made your addresses to the fat widow who kept a public-house at Islington, there was a report spread very much to the prejudice of your manhood, which coming to the ears of your mistress, you were discarded immediately: and I brought matters to a reconciliation, by assuring her you had three bastards at nurse in the country.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,155 ~ ~ ~
This anecdote, which had no other foundation than in Banter's own invention, afforded a good deal of mirth to everybody present, and provoked Mr. Medlar beyond all sufferance; so that he started up in a mighty passion, and, forgetting that his mouth was full, bespattered those who sat next to him, while he discharged his indignation in a volley of oaths, and called Banter insignificant puppy, impertinent jackanapes, and a hundred such appellations; telling the company he had invented these false and malicious aspersions, because he would not lend him money to squander away upon rooks and whores.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,168 ~ ~ ~
CHAPTER XLIX I receive a Challenge-the Consequence of it-the Quarrel being made up, am put in Arrest by the Care and Affection of Strap-but immediately released upon explaining my Affair-the Behaviour of Mr. Oregan and his two Friends-I visit Melinda, whom I divert with an account of the Duel-propose Marriage-she refers the Matter to her Mother, of whom I make a solemn Demand of her Daughter-the old Lady's behaviour-I am discarded--resent their Disdain When I was ready to go abroad next day, Strap brought me a letter, To Mr. Random, Esq., these; which, upon opening, I found contained a challenge conceived in these very extraordinary terms: "Sir,-Whereas I am informed that you make love to Miss Melinda Goosetrap, this is to let you know that she is under promise of marriage to me; and that I am at this present waiting at the back of Montague House, with a pair of good pistols in my hand; and if you will keep your appointment, I will make your tongue confess (after the breath is out of your body) that you do not deserve her so well as Yours, etc.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,290 ~ ~ ~
Encouraged by this suggestion, my temper grew more serene, my reserve wore off, I talked en cavalier, and even made love to this antiquated coquette, who seemed extremely happy in her adorer, and spread all her allurements to make her imagined conquest more secure.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,350 ~ ~ ~
Indeed there is something to be said in vindication of it; for, notwithstanding the severity of the law against offenders in this way, it must be confessed that the practice of this passion is unattended with that curse and burthen upon society which proceeds from a race of miserable and deserted bastards, who are either murdered by their parents, deserted to the utmost want and wretchedness, or bred up to prey upon the commonwealth: and it likewise prevents the debauchery of many a young maiden, and the prostitution of honest men's wives; not to mention the consideration of health, which is much less liable to be impaired in the gratification of this appetite, than in the exercise of common venery, which, by ruining the constitutions of our young men, has produced a puny progeny that degenerates from generation to generation.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,424 ~ ~ ~
you son of a whore, what's that for?"
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,550 ~ ~ ~
I thought to have checked these ejaculations by a frown; because he had talked so much of his valour that I had long ago rated him as an ass in a lion's skin; but this expedient did not answer my expectation, he took umbrage at the contraction of my brow, swore he did not value my sulky looks a fig's end, and protested he feared no man breathing.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,612 ~ ~ ~
CHAPTER LV I resolve to ingratiate myself with the Mother, and am favoured by accident-the Precise Lady finds her husband, and quit the Coach-the Captain is disappointed of his dinner-we arrive at Bath-I accompany Miss Snapper to the Long-room, where she is attacked by beau Nash, and, turns the Laugh against him-I make love to her, and receive a check-Squire her to an Assembly, where I am blessed with a Sight of my dear Narcissa, which discomposes me so much, that Miss Snapper, observing my disorder, is at pains to discover the Cause-is piqued at the Occasion, and, in our way home, pays me a sarcastic Compliment-I am met by Miss Williams, who is the maid and Confidante of Narcissa-she acquaints me with her Lady's regard for me while under the disguise of a Servant, and describes the Transports of Narcissa on seeing me at the Assembly, in the Character of a Gentleman-I am surprised with an Account of her Aunt's Marriage, and make an Appointment to meet Miss Williams the next day During this unsocial interval, my pride and interest maintained a severe conflict on the subject of Miss Snapper, whom the one represented as unworthy of notice, and the other proposed as the object of my whole attention: the advantages and disadvantages of such a match were opposed to one another by my imagination; and, at length, my judgment gave it so much in favour of the first, that I resolved to prosecute my scheme with all the address in my power.