Vulgar words in Tales and Novels of J. de La Fontaine — Complete (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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exclaimed the knight, 'tis very clear, And I a blockhead surely must appear.
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THIS arch collection, like a prayer-book bound; Was in the blockhead's pocket always found, The form religious of the work, he thought, Would prove a charm 'gainst vice whenever sought!
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But what of honour?--nothing else is heard; At Rome a different conduct is preferred; The cuckold there, who takes the thing to heart, Is thought a fool, and acts a blockhead's part; While he, who laughs, is always well received And honest fellow through the town believed.
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ONE, 'mong his valets, had a pretty wife; The master was himself quite full of life, And soon the charmer to his wishes drew, With which the husband discontented grew, And having caught them in the very fact, He rang his mate the changes for the act; Sad names he called her, howsoever just, A silly blockhead!
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THE MANDRAKE FLORENTINE we now design to show;-- A greater blockhead ne'er appeared below; It seems a prudent woman he had wed, With beauty that might grace a monarch's bed; Young, brisk, good-humoured, with engaging mien; None in the town, or round, the like was seen: Her praises every voice inclined to sing, And judged her worthy of a mighty king; At least a better husband she deserved: An arrant fool he looked, and quite unnerved.
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But should the blockhead any how prove shy Send instantly to me; I shall be nigh; I'm going now to rest; by no means fail; We'll soon contrive and ev'ry way prevail.
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She to her husband presently disclosed The love these cit-gallants to her proposed; Both known for arrant blockheads through the town, And ever boasting of their own renown.
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Wives are not viewed so near; naught will I add; Why, neighbour Stephen, dost thou think me mad, To give my mule to boot?--of mules the king; Not e'en an ass I'd to the bargain bring; Change wife for wife, the barter will be fair; Then each will act with t'other on the square.
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FERONDE had got a spouse of pleasing sight, Related nearly to our friar white, Whose predecessor, uncle, sponsor kind, Now gone to realms of night, had her consigned, To be this silly blockhead's lawful wife, Who thought her hand the honour of his life.
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'Tis said that bastard-daughters oft retain A disposition to the parent-train; And this, the saying, truly ne'er bellied, Nor was her spouse so weak but he descried, Things clearer than was requisite believed, And doubted much if he were not deceived.
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WHILE near the king, much caution Gyges showed; But soon the belle perceived his bosom glowed; She learned the cause:--her spouse the tale disclosed, And laughed and jeered, as he the facts exposed: A silly blockhead!
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From this to thee great profit will arise; Thy ass, so slow is found, that when supplies, It carries to the market, 'tis so late, The hour is almost past ere at the gate, And then thy cabbages, and herbs, and roots, Provisions, provender, and wares and fruits, Remain unsold, and home to spoil are brought, Since rarely far from thence such things are sought.
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No mare, replied the husband, I desire; An ass for me is all that I require.
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The wife replied, What price, I pray?--Three crowns rejoined the man; Then thou'rt a silly ass, said mistress Nan; To-day, by my address, I've gained a crown, And sold the same for twenty shillings down: My bargain luckily the first was made; The buyer, (who of flaws is much afraid) Examines now if ev'ry part is tight; He's in the tub to see if all be right.
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What, blockhead, would'st thou do without thy wife?
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THE PACK-SADDLE A FAMOUS painter, jealous of his wife; Whose charms he valued more than fame or life, When going on a journey used his art, To paint an ASS upon a certain part, (Umbilical, 'tis said) and like a seal: Impressive token, nothing thence to steal.
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Her joys So exquisite that she averred The other nightingale, the bird Who warbles to the woods his bliss, Was but an ass compared with this.
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Her anger burst into a flame As she the nightingale espied Which Kitty held; she could have cried, And scolded, called her nasty slut, And brazen hussey, bitch, and--but Her husband stopped her.