Vulgar words in Gargantua and Pantagruel, Illustrated, Book 4 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
|
|
|
~ ~ ~ Sentence 16 ~ ~ ~
Now, I fancy, there's nothing less difficult to attempt than the first method; for, in this blessed age, 'tis as easy to find a bully without courage, as a whore without beauty, or a writer without wit; though those qualifications are so necessary in their respective professions.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 47 ~ ~ ~
If thou art one of those who would put themselves upon us for learned men in Greek and Hebrew, yet are mere blockheads in English, and patch together old pieces of the ancients to get themselves clothes out of them, thou art too severely mauled in this work to like it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 185 ~ ~ ~
Both seem to me notable fellows, and as true cods as ever pissed.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 264 ~ ~ ~
Mum for that; 'tis as easy as pissing a bed, and will cost but little.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 429 ~ ~ ~
Yea, verily, quoth the grazier, I am married, and would not be otherwise for all the pairs of spectacles in Europe; nay, not for all the magnifying gimcracks in Africa; for I have got me the cleverest, prettiest, handsomest, properest, neatest, tightest, honestest, and soberest piece of woman's flesh for my wife that is in all the whole country of Xaintonge; I'll say that for her, and a fart for all the rest.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 509 ~ ~ ~
Hark ye, friend of mine, answered the other; with the fleece of these your fine Rouen cloth is to be made; your Leominster superfine wool is mine arse to it; mere flock in comparison.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 527 ~ ~ ~
Now I think on't, over all the fields where they piss, corn grows as fast as if the Lord had pissed there; they need neither be tilled nor dunged.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 538 ~ ~ ~
But hark you me, if you were a scholar, you should know that in the most inferior members of those animals, which are the feet, there is a bone, which is the heel, the astragalus, if you will have it so, wherewith, and with that of no other creature breathing, except the Indian ass and the dorcades of Libya, they used in old times to play at the royal game of dice, whereat Augustus the emperor won above fifty thousand crowns one evening.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 542 ~ ~ ~
A turd on't, said the skipper to his preaching passenger, what a fiddle-faddle have we here?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 576 ~ ~ ~
A fart for the money, said Panurge; have I not had above fifty thousand pounds' worth of sport?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 581 ~ ~ ~
Thou damn'st thyself like any old devil, quoth Friar John; it is written, Mihi vindictam, &c. Matter of breviary, mark ye me (Motteux adds unnecessarily (by way of explanation), 'that's holy stuff.').
~ ~ ~ Sentence 623 ~ ~ ~
Set them together, said Panurge, then blow in their arses, it will be a bagpipe.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 743 ~ ~ ~
Having knocked at the gate, and then pissed, as most men will do, the porter soon found him out, by his large greasy spatterdashes, his jaded hollow-flanked mare, his bagful of writs and informations dangling at his girdle, but, above all, by the large silver hoop on his left thumb.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 776 ~ ~ ~
The filly was soon scared out of her seven senses, and began to start, to funk it, to squirt it, to trot it, to fart it, to bound it, to gallop it, to kick it, to spurn it, to calcitrate it, to wince it, to frisk it, to leap it, to curvet it, with double jerks, and bum-motions; insomuch that she threw down Tickletoby, though he held fast by the tree of the pack-saddle with might and main.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 813 ~ ~ ~
In short, they stroked him so to the purpose that he pissed blood out at mouth, nose, ears, and eyes, and was bruised, thwacked, battered, bebumped, and crippled at the back, neck, breast, arms, and so forth.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 932 ~ ~ ~
Nor of Philomenes, whose servant having got him some new figs for the first course of his dinner, whilst he went to fetch wine, a straggling well-hung ass got into the house, and seeing the figs on the table, without further invitation soberly fell to.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 956 ~ ~ ~
Poor Panurge having with the full contents of the inside of his doublet plentifully fed the fish, greedy enough of such odious fare, sat on the deck all in a heap, with his nose and arse together, most sadly cast down, moping and half dead; invoked and called to his assistance all the blessed he- and she-saints he could muster up; swore and vowed to confess in time and place convenient, and then bawled out frightfully, Steward, maitre d'hotel, see ho!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,092 ~ ~ ~
Grumble, devils, fart, belch, shite, a t--d o' the wave.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,158 ~ ~ ~
may a shanker gnaw thy moustachios, and the three rows of pock-royals and cauliflowers cover thy bum and turd-barrel instead of breeches and codpiece.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,203 ~ ~ ~
Now to the sheet on the starboard side, thou son of a whore.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,439 ~ ~ ~
His usual food is pickled coats of mail, salt helmets and head-pieces, and salt sallets; which sometimes makes him piss pins and needles.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,500 ~ ~ ~
The head of the larynx, like a The arse-gut, like a monk's vintage-basket.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,575 ~ ~ ~
His arse-hole, like a crystal look- His neck, like a talboy.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,679 ~ ~ ~
it will make no more of us, and we shall hold no more room in its hellish jaws, than a sugarplum in an ass's throat.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,782 ~ ~ ~
Octavianus Augustus, second emperor of the Romans, meeting on a day a country fellow named Eutychus --that is, fortunate--driving an ass named Nicon--that is, in Greek, Victorian--moved by the signification of the ass's and ass-driver's names, remained assured of all prosperity and victory.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,032 ~ ~ ~
Frig-palate.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,046 ~ ~ ~
This spoke, he lugs out his trusty sword, Kiss-mine-arse (so he called it) with both his fists, and cut the Sausage in twain.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,064 ~ ~ ~
Friar John and his party kept on mincing, felling, braining, mangling, and spitting the Chitterlings like mad; but Pantagruel sounded a retreat, and all hostility ceased.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,105 ~ ~ ~
They neither exonerate, dung, piss, nor spit in that island; but, to make amends, they belch, fizzle, funk, and give tail-shots in abundance.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,114 ~ ~ ~
A while after, we were commanded, in the king's name, not to receive for three hours any man or woman of the country on board our ships; some having stolen from him a rousing fart, of the very individual wind which old goodman Aeolus the snorer gave Ulysses to conduct his ship whenever it should happen to be becalmed.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,115 ~ ~ ~
Which fart the king kept religiously, like another sanc-greal, and performed a world of wonderful cures with it in many dangerous diseases, letting loose and distributing to the patient only as much of it as might frame a virginal fart; which is, if you must know, what our sanctimonials, alias nuns, in their dialect call ringing backwards.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,173 ~ ~ ~
I am going to tempt to the pleasing sin of whoring the nuns of Dryfart, the sham saints of the cowl, and the gluttonish crew.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,223 ~ ~ ~
Quit a fart, replied the wife; he shall have none of the field.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,291 ~ ~ ~
We would kiss his bare arse without boggling at it, and eke his two pounders; for he has a pair of them, the holy father, that he has; we find it so by our fine decretals, otherwise he could not be pope.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,376 ~ ~ ~
'Tis not only lawful for him to do so, but it is enjoined him by the sacred decretals; and if any dare transgress one single iota against their commands, whether they be emperors, kings, dukes, princes, or commonwealths, he is immediately to pursue them with fire and sword, strip them of all their goods, take their kingdoms from them, proscribe them, anathematize them, and destroy not only their bodies, those of their children, relations, and others, but damn also their souls to the very bottom of the most hot and burning cauldron in hell.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,437 ~ ~ ~
Insomuch that Snip was condemned to make good the stuffs to all his customers; and to this day poor Cabbage's hair grows through his hood and his arse through his pocket-holes.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,519 ~ ~ ~
Here Homenas began to belch, to fart, to funk, to laugh, to slaver, and to sweat; and then he gave his huge greasy four-cornered cap to one of the lasses, who clapped it on her pretty head with a great deal of joy, after she had lovingly bussed it, as a sure token that she should be first married.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,555 ~ ~ ~
And would you indeed damn your precious soul?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,686 ~ ~ ~
Nay, sometimes he seemed to own his ignorance, instead of an answer letting out a rousing fart, or muttering some words with barbarous and uncouth inflexions, and not to be understood.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,796 ~ ~ ~
Whore's farts.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,979 ~ ~ ~
He had the wit to pimp for asses and mares, animals of different species, that they might copulate for the generation of a third, which we call mules, more strong and fit for hard service than the other two.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,069 ~ ~ ~
(Mark this, an old saying, and as true a one as, a young whore, an old saint.)
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,266 ~ ~ ~
The retentive faculty of the nerve which restrains the muscle called sphincter ('tis the arse-hole, an it please you) was relaxated by the violence of the fear which he had been in during his fantastic visions.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,286 ~ ~ ~
Ods-life, said the buffoon, how wise, prudent, and careful of your health your highness is!