Vulgar words in Remarks (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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About Geology About Portraits A Bright Future for Pugilism Absent Minded A Calm Accepting the Laramie Postoffice A Circular A Collection of Keys A Convention A Father's Advice to his Son A Father's Letter A Goat in a Frame A Great Spiritualist A Great Upheaval A Journalistic Tenderfoot A Letter of Regrets All About Menials All About Oratory Along Lake Superior A Lumber Camp A Mountain Snowstorm Anatomy Anecdotes of Justice Anecdotes of the Stage A New Autograph Album A New Play An Operatic Entertainment Answering an Invitation Answers to Correspondents A Peaceable Man A Picturesque Picnic A Powerful Speech Archimedes A Resign Arnold Winkelreid Asking for a Pass A Spencerian Ass Astronomy A Thrilling Experience A Wallula Night B. Franklin, Deceased Biography of Spartacus Boston Common and Environs Broncho Sam Bunker Hill Care of House Plants Catching a Buffalo Causes for Thanksgiving Chinese Justice Christopher Columbus Come Back Concerning Book Publishing Concerning Coroners Crowns and Crowned Heads Daniel Webster Dessicated Mule Dogs and Dog Days Doosedly Dilatory "Done It A-Purpose" Down East Rum Dr. Dizart's Dog Drunk in a Plug Hat Early Day Justice Eccentricities of Genius Eccentricity in Lunch Etiquette at Hotels Every Man His Own Paper-Hanger Extracts from a Queen's Diary Farming in Maine Favored a Higher Fine Fifteen Years Apart Flying Machines General Sheridan's Horse George the Third Great Sacrifice of Bric-a-Brac Habits of a Literary Man "Heap Brain" History of Babylon Hours With Great Men How Evolution Evolves In Acknowledgment Insomnia in Domestic Animals In Washington "I Spy" I Tried Milling John Adams John Adams' Diary John Adams' Diary, (No.
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These young men are not of the kind of whom the metropolitan ass writes as saying "youbetcherlife," and calling everybody "pardner."
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So he wanted a piece of one of them tomfoolery kind for the little cuss to speak the last day of school.
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Some people cannot distinguish between being firm and being a big blue jackass.
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All cow-boys are not sanguinary; but out of twenty you will generally find one who is brave when he has his revolvers with him; but when he forgot and left his shooters at home on the piano, the most tropical violet-eyed dude can climb him with the butt-end of a sunflower, and beat his brains out and spatter them all over that school district.
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There are a good many fools who drift around through the world and dodge the authorities, but the most disastrous ass that I know is the man who goes West with two dollars and forty cents in his pocket, without brains enough to soil the most delicate cambric handkerchief, and tries to play himself for a savant with so much knowledge that he has to shed information all the time to keep his abnormal knowledge from hurting him.
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If you are really a brain-worker, will you kindly inform the writer whose brain you are working now, and how you like it as far as you have gone?
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He's not only a talented cuss, but his genius is always fresh and original."
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A Spencerian Ass.
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"Then he threw me out of the door against a total stranger, and flung pieces of coal at me and called me a copper-plate ass, and said that if I ever came into the office again he would assassinate me.
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He just told us to take care of its remains, patted the old cuss on the head a little and walked off.
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It is a matter of profound national sorrow that this was not the first American jackass presented to his Tallness, the Prince.
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With the wonderful music of the great organ at the tabernacle sounding in your ears, and the lofty temple near by towering to the sky, you say to yourself, there is, after all, something solemn and impressive in all this; but when a greasy apostle in an alapaca duster, takes his place behind the elevated desk, and with bad grammar and slangy sentences, asks God in a businesslike way to bless this buzzing mass of unclean, low-browed, barbarous scum of all foreign countries, and the white trash and criminals of our own, you find no reverence, and no religious awe.
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Years ago there used to be a pompous cuss in southern Wisconsin, who was a self-made man.
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You might pass by him two or three times without recognizing his eminence, and yet, at a scrapping matinee or swatting recital, he seems to hold his audiences at his own sweet will--also his antagonist.
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The waiter was certainly the most worthless, trifling, half-asleep combination of Senegambian stupidity and poor white trash indolence and awkwardness that I ever saw.