Vulgar words in A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 2 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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And a maid we have at home, Alison Trip-and-go: Not all London can show such other two: She simpereth, she pranketh, and jetteth without fail, As a peacock that hath spread and showeth her gay tail: She minceth, she bridleth, she swimmeth to and fro: She treadeth not one hair awry, she trippeth like a doe Abroad in the street, going or coming homeward: She quavereth and warbleth, like one in a galliard, Every joint in her body and every part: O, it is a jolly wench to mince and divide a fart.
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His arse maketh buttons now, and who lusteth to feel, Shall find his heart creeping out at his heel, Or else lying hidden in some corner of his hose, If it be not already dropped out of his nose.
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By my faith, if you be angry without a cause, You shall have amends made with a couple of straws; By thee I set whatsoever thou art; But for thy displeasure I care not a fart.
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For a man may see, thou whoreson goose, Thou wouldest lese thine arse, if it were loose!
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Now, by my truth, master, I have told you no lie; And all these folks knoweth as well as I, I had no sooner knocked at the gate, But straightway he had me by the pate; Therefore, if you beat me, till I fart and shit again, You shall not cause me for any pain; But I woll affirm, as I said before, That when I came near, another stood at the door.
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For I woll shit[209] up the gate, and get me to-bed, For I promise you I have a very giddy head.
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And in every faculty this thing is put in ure, And is so universal that I need no one to name, And, as I fear, is like evermore to endure; For it is in all faculties a common sport and game, The weaker to say as the stronger biddeth, or to have blame, As a cunning sophist woll by argument bring to pass, That the rude shall confess, and grant himself an ass.
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he hath whores two or three, But ich tell your minion doll,[223] by Gog's body: It skilleth not she doth hold you as much.
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Peace, whore, or ye bear me a box on[224] there-- DALILAH.
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I defy you both, whore and knave-- INIQUITY.
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By Gog's blood, she is the best whore in England.
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Gup, whore, and I at rest [_he loseth_].
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Yea, I thank that knave and such a whore as thou.
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Ye lie like a whore, ye have won a pound!
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Gup, whore; do ye hear this jade?
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Loving, when she is pleased: When she is angry, thus shrewd: Thief, brother: sister, whore; Two graffs of an ill tree, I will tarry no longer here, Farewell, God be with ye!
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Every man saith thy daughter was a strong whore, And thy son a strong thief and a murderer.
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Thou shalt die (I trow) with more shame; I will get me hence out of the way, If the whore should die, men would me blame; That I killed her, knaves should say.
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But there is no such stirrer as Esau is: He is up day by day, before the crow piss: Then maketh he with his horn such toohing and blowing, And with his wide throat such shouting and hallooing, That no neighbour shall in his tent take any rest, From Esau addresseth him to the forest.
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Kept it still, and you had not been a very ass.
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Nay, I will first toss him and trounce him of the best; I think to find it a matter of conscience, And Jacob first to have a fart, sir reverence.
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I told you Esau one day would shit a rag, Have we not well hunted, of blessing to come lag?
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[280] Nay, I thought ever it would come to such a pass, Since he sold his heritage like a very ass.
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Come out, whores and thieves; come out, come out, I say!
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As white as midnight's arsehole or virgin pitch.
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But we will pelt thee, knave, until for woe thou piss.
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2: "O this woodcock, what an ass it is!"--_Halliwell_.