Vulgar words in The Cords of Vanity - A Comedy of Shirking (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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"Do you always get red in the face when you make love?
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I'll look like an ass when it comes to the kneeling part--like an ass, I tell you!
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you lucky jackass!"
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Charteris, with his prattle about temperament, was an ass; when a woman is born with such eyes and with a voice like that, she has done her full duty by the world, and has prodigally accomplished all one has the tiniest right to expect of her.
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"Forty times over let Michaelmas pass, Grizzling hair the brain doth clear; Then you know a boy is an ass, Then you know the worth of a lass, Once you have come to forty-year."
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I do know he made love to her a little later.
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After all," Stella summed it up, "our duties are very simple; first, we are expected to pass through a certain number of cotillions and a certain number of various happenings in various tête-à-têtes; then to make a suitable match,--so as to enable the agreeable detrimentals to make love to us, with perfect safety--as you were doing just now, for instance.
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Now it would be just an odd turn of language, or a description of some gesture she had made, or of a gown she had worn that day; and now a simile or some other rather good figure of speech which had popped into my mind when I was making love to her.
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So I don't feel, now, at all as if we were strangers--" And thus she bore Elena off, and I knew that within ten minutes Elena would have been warned against me, as "not quite a desirable acquaintance, you know, my dear, and it is only my duty to tell you that as a young and attractive married woman--" 2 "And so," I said in my soul, as the men redistributed themselves, "she is married,--married while you were pottering with books and the turn of phrases and immortality and such trifles--oh, you ass!
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And to a man named Barry-Smith--damn him, I wonder whether he is the hungry scut that hasn't had his hair cut this fall, or the blancmange-bellied one with the mashed-strawberry nose?
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And I hadn't any business to take the chance of course at that stage, with the ace right in my hand--" "Arthur would have said, before he'd thought of it, 'You damn fool--!'
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You're a damn cad, you know, Bob," he pensively observed.
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"You are a hopelessly conceited ass," Mr. Blagden was pleased to observe, "for otherwise you would have learned, by this, that you'll, most likely, never have the luck of Charteris, and land a woman who will take it as a favour that you let her pay your bills.
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"You're a grinning buffoon," said Peter.
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You're an ass.
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She thought I would make love to her out of hand, I suppose, because she was wealthy--" I presently flung back my head and laughed.
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You are damn disagreeable this morning, Bob.
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--and she remedied the fault on tiptoe,--"_please_ run away and make love to somebody else, and be sure to get her name right, so that I shan't assassinate the wrong person,--because I want to tell this very attractive child all about Avis, and not be bothered."
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And Peter considered "Miss Beechinor a damn fine girl, and Miss Hugonin too, only--" "Only," I prompted, between puffs, "Miss Hugonin keeps everybody, as my old Mammy used to say, 'in a perpetual swivet.'
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I haven't been abroad for a long while," said Mr. Blagden; and then, after another meditative pause: "Now Stella--well, Stella was a damn sight too good for me, of course--" "She was," I affably assented."
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And it waked something--Oh, I don't know what I mean," said Peter--"it's just damn foolishness, I suppose."
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"Damn you!" was her verdict.
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"The little slut!"
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It is the solitary way of explaining certain people,--that they were invented by some fagged novelist who unfortunately died before he finished the book they were to be locked up in.
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"Now, don't be an ass, John.
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"But, after all, John, you _did_ make love to her."