Vulgar words in Specimens with Memoirs of the Less-known British Poets, Volume 2 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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I would not be a Puritan, though he Can preach two hours, and yet his sermon be But half a quarter long; Though from his old mechanic trade By vision he's a pastor made, His faith was grown so strong; Nay, though he think to gain salvation By calling the Pope the Whore of Babylon.
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A guide I had got, who demanded great vails, For conducting me over the mountains of Wales: Twenty good shillings, which sure very large is; Yet that would not serve, but I must bear his charges; And yet for all that, rode astride on a beast, The worst that e'er went on three legs, I protest: It certainly was the most ugly of jades, His hips and his rump made a right ace of spades; His sides were two ladders, well spur-galled withal; His neck was a helve, and his head was a mall; For his colour, my pains and your trouble I'll spare, For the creature was wholly denuded of hair; And, except for two things, as bare as my nail, A tuft of a mane, and a sprig of a tail; And by these the true colour one can no more know, Than by mouse-skins above stairs, the merkin below.
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Now such as the beast was, even such was the rider, With a head like a nutmeg, and legs like a spider; A voice like a cricket, a look like a rat, The brains of a goose, and the heart of a cat: Even such was my guide and his beast; let them pass, The one for a horse, and the other an ass.
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But one thing I chiefly admired in the place, That a saint and a virgin endued with such grace, Should yet be so wonderful kind a well-willer To that whoring and filching trade of a miller, As within a few paces to furnish the wheels Of I cannot tell how many water-mills: I've studied that point much, you cannot guess why, But the virgin was, doubtless, more righteous than I.
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Henceforth with thought of thee I'll season all succeeding jollity, Yet damn not mirth, nor think too much is fit: Excess hath no religion, nor wit; But should wild blood swell to a lawless strain, One check from thee shall channel it again.
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5 The harmless, young, and happy ass, (Seen long before[1] this came to pass,) Is in these joys a high partaker, Ordained and made to bear his Maker.
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8 Then, like the palm, though wronged I'll bear, I will be still a child, still meek As the poor ass which the proud jeer, And only my dear Jesus seek.
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3 And if the house be foul With platter, dish, or bowl, Up-stairs we nimbly creep, And find the sluts asleep; There we pinch their arms and thighs; None escapes, nor none espies.