Vulgar words in A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 9 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 527 ~ ~ ~
What a circumstance Doth he begin with; what an ass is he, To tell her at the first that she is fair; The only means to make her to be coy!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 547 ~ ~ ~
O ass!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 549 ~ ~ ~
O blockhead!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 691 ~ ~ ~
_Vitrum_ glass, _spica_ grass, _tu es asinus_, you are an ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,885 ~ ~ ~
Marry, come up, you blockhead!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,886 ~ ~ ~
you great ass!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,958 ~ ~ ~
I knew the wench that is become his bride, And smil'd to think how deeply he had lied; For first he swore he did not court a maid; A wife he could not, she was elsewhere tied; And as for such as widows were, he said, And deeply swore none such should be his bride: Widow, nor wife, nor maid--I ask'd no more, Knowing he was betroth'd unto a whore.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,603 ~ ~ ~
What, you jeering ass!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,696 ~ ~ ~
Who blurs fair paper with foul bastard rhymes, Shall live full many an age in latter times: Who makes a ballad for an alehouse door, Shall live in future times for evermore: Then ( )[41] thy muse shall live so long, As drafty ballads to thy praise are sung.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,743 ~ ~ ~
What, Monsieur Kinsayder, lifting up your leg, and pissing against the world?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,776 ~ ~ ~
As for these, they have some of them been the old hedge-stakes of the press; and some of them are, at this instant, the bots and glanders of the printing-house: fellows that stand only upon terms to serve the term,[60] with their blotted papers, write, as men go to stool, for needs; and when they write, they write as a bear pisses, now and then drop a pamphlet.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,781 ~ ~ ~
But this Belvidere, this methodical ass, hath made me almost forget my time; I'll now to Paul's Churchyard; meet me an hour hence at the sign of the Pegasus in Cheapside, and I'll moist thy temples with a cup of claret, as hard as the world goes.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,984 ~ ~ ~
O, how it grieves my vexed soul to see Each painted ass in chair of dignity!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,039 ~ ~ ~
Will, then, this golden ass bestow a vicarage gilded?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,065 ~ ~ ~
Shall an ass this vicarage compass?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,067 ~ ~ ~
Ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,070 ~ ~ ~
Ass he.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,103 ~ ~ ~
She is thy Io, thou her brazen ass, Or she Dame Phantasy, and thou her gull; She thy Pasiphae, and thou her loving bull.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,281 ~ ~ ~
He hath your greyhound, your mongrel, your mastiff, your levrier, your spaniel, your kennets, terriers, butchers' dogs, bloodhounds, dunghill-dogs, trundle-tails, prick-eared curs, small ladies' puppies, raches,[88] and bastards.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,283 ~ ~ ~
What a bawdy knave hath he to his father, that keeps his Rachel, hath his bastards, and lets his sons be plain ladies' puppies to bewray a lady's chamber.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,419 ~ ~ ~
What, half a mess of good qualities referred to an ass' head?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,474 ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,483 ~ ~ ~
Faith, he were an excellent subject for two or three good wits: he would make a fine ass for an ape to ride upon.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,530 ~ ~ ~
O, they are pestilent fellows, they speak nothing but bodkins, and piss vinegar.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,588 ~ ~ ~
Ass as I was, to read a piece of Aristotle in Greek yesternight; it hath put me out of my English vein quite.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,619 ~ ~ ~
That old Sir Raderic, that new printed compendium of all iniquity, that hath not aired his country chimney once in three winters; he that loves to live in an old corner here at London, and affect an old wench in a nook; one that loves to live in a narrow room, that he may with more facility in the dark light upon his wife's waiting-maid; one that loves alike a short sermon and a long play; one that goes to a play, to a whore, to his bed, in circle: good for nothing in the world but to sweat nightcaps and foul fair lawn shirts, feed a few foggy servingmen, and prefer dunces to livings--this old Sir Raderic, Furor, it shall be thy task to cudgel with thy thick, thwart terms; marry, at the first, give him some sugarcandy terms,[103] and then, if he will not untie purse-strings of his liberality, sting him with terms laid in aquafortis and gunpowder.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,668 ~ ~ ~
To bear[109] too long, argues an ass's kind.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,750 ~ ~ ~
The great projector of the thunderbolts, He that is wont to piss whole clouds of rain Into the earth, vast gaping urinal, Which that one-ey'd subsizer of the sky, Dan Phoebus, empties by calidity; He and his townsmen planets brings to thee Most fatty lumps of earth's fecundity.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,805 ~ ~ ~
I am the bastard of great Mercury, Got on Thalia when she was asleep: My gaudy grandsire, great Apollo hight,[113] Born was, I hear, but that my luck was ill, To all the land upon the forked hill.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,849 ~ ~ ~
You that are one of the devil's fellow-commoners; one that sizeth the devil's butteries, sins, and perjuries very lavishly; one that are so dear to Lucifer, that he never puts you out of commons for nonpayment; you that live, like a sumner, upon the sins of the people; you whose vocation serves to enlarge the territories of hell that, but for you, had been no bigger than a pair of stocks or a pillory; you, that hate a scholar because he descries your ass's ears; you that are a plague-stuffed cloak-bag of all iniquity, which the grand serving-man of hell will one day truss up behind him, and carry to his smoky wardrobe.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,859 ~ ~ ~
And you, Master Amoretto, that art the chief carpenter of sonnets, a privileged vicar for the lawless marriage of ink and paper, you that are good for nothing but to commend in a set speech, to colour the quantity of your mistress's stool, and swear it is most sweet civet; it's fine, when that puppet-player Fortune must put such a Birchen-Lane post in so good a suit, such an ass in so good fortune!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,428 ~ ~ ~
you're a very ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,464 ~ ~ ~
Gripe takes me for his faithful friend, Imparts to me the secrets of his heart; And Plod-all thinks I am as true a friend To every enterprise he takes in hand, As ever breath'd under the cope of heaven: But damn me if they find it so.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,113 ~ ~ ~
Nay, damn me, if I be: by heav'ns, sweet nymph, I am not!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,674 ~ ~ ~
Master Churms, Methinks 'tis strange you should make such a motion: Say, I should yield and grant you love, When most you did expect a sunshine day, My father's will would mar your hop'd-for hay; And when you thought to reap the fruits of love, His hard constraint would blast it in the bloom: For he so doats on Peter Plod-all's pelf, That none but he forsooth must be the man: And I will rather match myself Unto a groom of Pluto's grisly den, Than unto such a silly golden ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,239 ~ ~ ~
No craving, subtle whore or shameless bawd, Nor stubborn clown or daring parasite, No lying servant or bold sycophant.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,732 ~ ~ ~
What were you talking even now of an ass, and a crown, and an urinal, and a plague?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,751 ~ ~ ~
I say such a one was a very ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,203 ~ ~ ~
A rich pudding-wife or a cobbler cannot die but I must immortalise his name with an epitaph; a dog cannot piss in a nobleman's shoe, but it must be sprinkled into the chronicles; so that I never could remember my treasure more full, and never emptier of honourable and true heroical actions.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,462 ~ ~ ~
Hang him, blockhead!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,672 ~ ~ ~
Item, That she's a common whore, and lets every one lie with her.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,399 ~ ~ ~
I dare not trust these secrets to the earth, E'er since she brought forth reeds, whose babbling noise Told all the world of Midas' ass's ears.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,646 ~ ~ ~
Fetch an ass to keep you company.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,945 ~ ~ ~
make an ass of me?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 9,710 ~ ~ ~
I have done so much that, if I wed not her, My marriage makes me an adulterer: In which black sheets I wallow all my life, My babes being bastards, and a whore my wife.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,050 ~ ~ ~
I am young, fair, rich, honest, virtuous, Yet for all this, whoe'er shall marry me, I'm but his whore, live in adultery.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,051 ~ ~ ~
I cannot step into the path of pleasure For which I was created, born unto: Let me live ne'er so honest, rich or poor, If I once wed, yet I must live a whore.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,054 ~ ~ ~
And though that I should vow a single life To keep my soul unspotted, yet will he Enforce me to a marriage: So that my grief doth of that weight consist, It helps me not to yield nor to resist; And was I then created for a whore?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,055 ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,168 ~ ~ ~
But hark, what thou hast got by it: Thy wife is but a strumpet, thy children bastards, Thyself a murderer, thy wife accessory, Thy bed a stews, thy house a brothel.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,280 ~ ~ ~
Then fill our heads with wine Till every pate be drunk, then piss i'the street, Jostle all you meet, And swagger with a punk_-- As thou wilt do now and then: thank me, thy good master, that brought thee to it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,294 ~ ~ ~
_To them that make land fly, By wines, whores, and a die: To them that only thrives By kissing others' wives: To them that pay for clothes With nothing but with oaths: Care not from whom they get, So they may be in debt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,297 ~ ~ ~
But who their tailors pay, Borrow, and keep their day, We'll hold him like this glass, A brainless, empty ass, And not a mate for us_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 10,695 ~ ~ ~
Piss in thy way, and that's no slander.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,067 ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,433 ~ ~ ~
Whore, ay, and jade.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,443 ~ ~ ~
I, that could not abide a woman, but to make her a whore, hated all she-creatures, fair and poor; swore I would never marry but to one that was rich, and to be thus coney-catched!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,486 ~ ~ ~
Away, whore!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,487 ~ ~ ~
out of my doors, whore!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,637 ~ ~ ~
who's so desperate To damn himself by killing of himself?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,751 ~ ~ ~
strumpet, I say thou liest, For wife of mine thou art not, and these thy bastards Whom I begot of thee with this unrest, That bastards born are born not to be blest.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,759 ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,766 ~ ~ ~
And they that made the match, bawds to thy lust: Ay, now you hang the head; shouldst have done so before, Then these had not been bastards, thou a whore.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,837 ~ ~ ~
I'll mark thee for a strumpet, and thy bastards-- BUT.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 11,857 ~ ~ ~
Yes, goodman slave, you shall be master, Lie with my wife, and get more bastards; do, do, do.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 12,616 ~ ~ ~
[240] [i.e., A blockhead, a fool.--_Steevens_.]