Vulgar words in Back to Methuselah (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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4004 (In the Garden of Eden) The Gospel of the Brothers Barnabas: Present Day The Thing Happens: A.D. 2170 Tragedy of an Elderly Gentleman: A.D. 3000 As Far as Thought Can Reach: A.D. 31,920 PREFACE The Infidel Half Century THE DAWN OF DARWINISM One day early in the eighteen hundred and sixties, I, being then a small boy, was with my nurse, buying something in the shop of a petty newsagent, bookseller, and stationer in Camden Street, Dublin, when there entered an elderly man, weighty and solemn, who advanced to the counter, and said pompously, 'Have you the works of the celebrated Buffoon?'
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The celebrated Buffoon was not a humorist, but the famous naturalist Buffon.
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The celebrated Buffoon was forgotten; I had doubled my years and my length; and I had discarded the religion of my forefathers.
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The celebrated Buffoon was a better Evolutionist than either of them; and two thousand years before Buffon was born, the Greek philosopher Empedocles opined that all forms of life are transformations of four elements, Fire, Air, Earth, and Water, effected by the two innate forces of attraction and repulsion, or love and hate.
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The man who was scientific enough to see that the Holy Ghost is a scientific fact got easily in front of the blockheads who could only sin against it.
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Here, I am afraid, I shall require once more the assistance of the giraffe, or, as he was called in the days of the celebrated Buffoon, the camelopard (by children, cammyleopard).
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The old belief that it matters dreadfully to God whether a man thinks himself an atheist or not, and that the extent to which it matters can be stated with exactness as one single damn, was an error: for the divinity is in the honor and public spirit, not in the mouthed _credo_ or _non credo_.
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She is in corset, knickers, and silk stockings._ BURGE-LUBIN [_horrified_] I beg your pardon a thousand times--[_The startled negress snatches the peg out of her switchboard and vanishes_].
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Damn self-control!
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But damn it, man--I beg your pardon, Archbishop; but really, really-- THE ARCHBISHOP.
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You had better go and write the autobiography of a jackass.
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Ass!
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THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_out of patience_] Damn it, madam, you don't want to spend your life looking at the same bit of it!
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I am not interested in the chemicals and the microbes: I leave them to the chumps and noodles, to the blockheads and the muckrakers who are incapable of their own glorious destiny, and unconscious of their own divinity.
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He was a doddering old ass when he came to consult the oracle.
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Can they make love?