Vulgar words in The Ladies Delight (Page 1)
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 20 ~ ~ ~
Both Men and Beasts have _some-thing_ or another, for which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in this _Talent_, may securely laugh, while ye daily _grow_ in the Ladies Favour, and spread your _Branches_ over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful _Stick of Wood_ has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they had _piss'd_ their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term it) have by the Strength of true _Hibernian_ Prowess rais'd themselves to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her _plac'd in a HOT-BED_, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been content to _spend_ the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the World.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 33 ~ ~ ~
Others too curious will _innoc_ _Ulate_ their Plants on _Medlars_ Stock, (_i.e._ as Tongues in Vulgar pass, They graft it on an _Open-arse_;) But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all, Say this is most _unnatural_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 82 ~ ~ ~
Now Painters _work_,--and dine, that starv'd before, And Tallymen supply each needy Whore-- Fam'd _Covent-Garden_ droops with mournful Look, Nor can St. _James's_ her great Rival brook: Each _Duck_ and D----ss, quacks to different Tunes, One _claps her Wings_ for Love, the other swoons; Each _Vintner_ storms and swears he is undone, Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan; _Porter_ who us'd to search for needful Girls, Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls, Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs, In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 86 ~ ~ ~
_Sylvia_, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux, Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose, By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all, In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall, And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too, Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due; At last a brisk young _Templar_ full of Fire, Whom Writs with _Money_, Wine with Love inspire, Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms, And for a Ticket flies into his Arms: So every _dapper Fop_ and _brawny Rake_ Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make; To Sin, the only certain Dedication, To every gentle Mistress in the Nation, From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion; For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit, But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis _forbidden Fruit_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 91 ~ ~ ~
Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys; The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys; _Strephon_ streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while, By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile; Soon they return more vig'rous than before, Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 99 ~ ~ ~
Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before, For my Mistake depended on his Whore, One had _Latona_ to'ther has _L----r_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 100 ~ ~ ~
Next to the _Grotto_ let us bend our Eye, The _Grotto_, Patron of Iniquity, Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade, How many Whores have at your Roots been made; Alas; how small the Number to what now, This one, this happy Night, alone will shew So many, that each conscious _Dryad_ flees, Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees.