Vulgar words in Colloquies of Erasmus, Volume I. (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 63 ~ ~ ~
But he did this so stupidly, so clumsily, that you would swear he had been some street buffoon: although the author of so silly a piece is said to be a certain divine of the Dominican order, by nation a Saxon.
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For these things were composed for their benefit, all of whom he supposes to be such blockheads that they will not instantly detect the patch-work he has so awkwardly sewn together.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 766 ~ ~ ~
_Li._ And perhaps it had been the same Thing, if they had put on a Whore-master's Cloak.
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_Thr._ Why, to Whores, Sutlers, and Gamesters.
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What, I warrant you, Mr. Ass, you must be fed with Plumb Cakes, must you?
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_Ra._ Do you grin you Pimp?
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_Co._ Squeeze it, or else piss in it.
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If you don't know the Use of them, they are good to wipe your Arse with.
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Go hang yourself, you Pimp.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,819 ~ ~ ~
The _Jews_ could lift up an Ass upon the Sabbath that was fallen into a Pit, and yet calumniated our Saviour for preserving a Man upon that Day.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,853 ~ ~ ~
It is not lawful to whore, or get drunk, how then are all Things lawful?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,941 ~ ~ ~
Whores are trick'd up to take the Eyes of many but we are well enough drest, if we do but please our own Husbands.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,944 ~ ~ ~
_Xa._ Why, as the Maggot bites, sometimes at the Tavern, sometimes upon his Whores, sometimes a gaming.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,329 ~ ~ ~
Why, whatsoever I got of Pay, Plunder, Sacrilege, Rapine and Theft, was spent in Wine, Whores and Gaming.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,565 ~ ~ ~
_Ant._ O Blockhead!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,835 ~ ~ ~
_Lu._ Ah, ah, are we not by ourselves already, my Cocky?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,890 ~ ~ ~
Thou wilt be piss'd upon by every Body.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,892 ~ ~ ~
All Whores can't attain to that, and if thou shouldst, what Employment is more impious, and more like the Devil himself?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,920 ~ ~ ~
I perceive you're a religious Whore, that relievest Mendicants.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,925 ~ ~ ~
In that Book, Paul, that can't lie, told me, that _neither Whores nor Whore-mongers shall obtain the Kingdom of Heaven_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,926 ~ ~ ~
When I read this, I began thus to think with myself: It is but a small Matter that I look for from my Father's Inheritance, and yet I can renounce all the Whores in the World, rather than be disinherited by my Father; how much more then ought I to take Care, lest my heavenly Father should disinherit me?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,933 ~ ~ ~
And I wondring that for so many whoring Tricks he enjoin'd me so small a Penance, he answer'd me very pleasantly, My Son, says he, if you truly repent and change your Life, I don't lay much Stress upon the Penance; but if thou shalt go on in it, the very Lust itself will at last punish thee very severely, although the Priest impose none upon thee.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,299 ~ ~ ~
Whose only Care is that his Gardens be With Flow'rs and Fruits furnish'd most pleasantly, But disregards his Mind with Art to grace, Bestows his Pains and Care much like an Ass._ _Hi._ You han't bit your Nails for nothing.
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_Au._ I am not an _Apuleius_ turned inside out, that you should suspect that an Ass lies hid under the Form of a Man.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,601 ~ ~ ~
On the other hand_, Polygamus _has brought old Age upon him, by the Intemperance of his Youth, by Drinking, Whoring, Gaming, running in Debt; he had had eight Wives._ Pampirus, _he becomes a Merchant; but consumes all he has by Gaming; then he becomes a Canon; then a Carthusian; after that a Benedictine; and last of all, turns Soldier._ Eusebius, _he gets a good Benefice and preaches._ EUSEBIUS, PAMPIRUS, POLYGAMUS, GLYCION, HUGUITIO, _and_ HARRY _the Coachman._ _Euseb._ What new Faces do I see here?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,765 ~ ~ ~
_Eu._ Indeed I don't wonder, Mr. Cock, that you are no fatter, and that you have brought old Age upon you to that Degree; for nothing brings on old Age faster, than excessive and hard Drinking, keeping late Hours, and Whoring, extravagant Love of Women, and immoderate Venery.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 6,927 ~ ~ ~
_Harry the Waggoner._ Where are you carrying that Harlottry, you Pimp?
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You oftentimes harbour Rattles and Buffoons, and will you thrust these Men out of Doors?
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_Mag._ But, I suppose, you can't deny but Panniers will look better upon an Ox, than a Mitre upon an Ass or a Sow.
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The Husband, instead of my dear Soul, has been call'd Blockhead, Toss-Pot, Swill-Tub; and the Wife, Sow, Fool, dirty Drab.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,779 ~ ~ ~
They both took an Oath of Secrecy, after the Manner of those that are initiated into mysterious Secrets; and presently Money is paid down for the Artist to buy Pots, Glasses, Coals, and other Necessaries for furnishing the Laboratory: This Money our Alchymist lavishes away on Whores, Gaming, and Drinking.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,851 ~ ~ ~
And in my Opinion, it was his Wisdom so to do, rather than to be the common Laughing-stock, and Table-Talk, and run the Risk of the Confiscation of his Goods besides; for the Imposter was in no Danger; he knew no more of the Matter than an Ass, and cheating is a small Fault in these Sort of Cattle.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,051 ~ ~ ~
An old Priest Cheats an Usurer._ Anthony _salutes one upon letting a Fart, saying the Backside was the cleanest Part of the Body._ POLYMYTHUS, GELASINUS, EUTRAPELUS, ASTÆUS, PHILYTHLUS, PHILOGELOS, EUGLOTTUS, LEROCHARES, ADOLESCHES, LEVINUS.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,219 ~ ~ ~
The King observing the Man's Countenance, perceiv'd he was no Blockhead, and thinking perhaps he might have misunderstood what he said, bids him be call'd back again.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,225 ~ ~ ~
By this Answer, the King seeing the Man to be no Blockhead, having ask'd him a few Questions, says he, You shall have what you ask'd for, that you may thank me twice, and turning to his Officers; Let, says he, Letters patent be made out for this Man without Delay, that he may not be detain'd here to his Detriment.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,276 ~ ~ ~
_Anthony_ turn'd the Matter off very well, saying that he had given the prime Honour to the Mouth for no other Reason, but because he knew that the other Man would name some other Part, if it were but out of Envy to thwart him: A few Days after, when they were both invited again to an Entertainment, _Anthony_ going in, finds his Antagonist, talking with some other Persons, while Supper was getting ready, and turning his Arse towards him, lets a great Fart full in his Face.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 8,425 ~ ~ ~
_Eu._ You quote the worst Author in the World, _Fabulla_, the Fashion; 'tis the Fashion to do amiss, to game, to whore, to cheat, to be drunk, and to play the Rake.
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_Eu._ What if it should pass into the Body of an Ass, as it happened to _Apuleius_?
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_Fa._ Then I think it would bray as an Ass does.
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_Fa._ Indeed I have heard he was a very famous Philosopher, and I am afraid that the College of Sages would prefer a Bill of Heresy against me, if I should say any Thing against him; but else all that he has said concerning the Soul of a Man, is as applicable to the Soul of an Ass or an Ox.