Vulgar words in Essays on the Stage - Preface to the Campaigners (1689) and Preface to the Translation of Bossuet's Maxims and Reflections on Plays (1699) (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 60 ~ ~ ~
_Pliny_ indeed, in his Natural History, _Lib._ 28, _Cap._ 10. tells ye, He that is bitten by a Scorpion may have relief, if immediately he go and whisper his grief into the Ear of an Ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 105 ~ ~ ~
A Country Lass, for such she was, tho here In th' City may be Sluts as well as there; Kept her hands clean, for those being always seen, Had told her else how sluttish she had been; Yet was her Face, as dirty as the Stall Of a Fish-monger, or a Usurer's Hall Begrim'd with filth, that you might boldly say, She was a true piece of _Prometheus_'s Clay.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 111 ~ ~ ~
I should not have put him upon this warm Office, if I had not found him too hot and bold with our Famous Ancient Truth-telling Poet _Juvenal_, when in his Book he tells us, _he teaches those vices he would correct, and writes more like a Pimp than a Poet_ [Footnote: Collier, p. 70, 71.]
~ ~ ~ Sentence 128 ~ ~ ~
Why does this tarmagant Correcter of our Lives and Manners pretend to make us believe that his Mouth or Conscience is so streight, that the t'other word can't get passage, or did his Mistress (honourable I mean) sit knotting under his Nose when he was writing, and so gave occasion for the changing it instead of Bawdy, that that odious word might not offend her, tho the Phrase was made Nonsence by it--hum--No faith, the case seems to me now to be quite otherwise, and really the effect of downright _Hypocrisy_, unless done as I said for the last reason; for those that have read his Book, may find sprinkling up and down the other words extreamly plain upon occasion, _Ribaldry_ and _Bawdy_, and _Whores_, and _Whoring_, and _Strumpets_, and _Cuckoldmakers_, with as fat a signification as any of the last nam'd could wish for their hearts; for example, by way of Tract, first, he says, _Euripides_ in his _Hipolitus_, calls _Whoring_ stupidness and playing the fool; and secondly, does _Ribaldry_, (not Smut) and Nonsence become the dignity of their station.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 130 ~ ~ ~
Again, _Berinthia_ incourages _Amanda_ to play the _Whore_; and then sowse upon _Don Quixot_, [Footnote: p.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 135 ~ ~ ~
Again speaking of _Jupiter_ and _Alcmena_-- but her Lover--_that is her Whore-master_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 138 ~ ~ ~
And at last with a Rowzer upon Mr _Congreeve_'s _Double Dealer_, where he particularly Remarks, _that there are but four Ladies in his Play, and three of em are Whores_; adding, withal, that 'tis _a great Compliment to Quality, to tell em there is but a quarter of 'em honest_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 141 ~ ~ ~
Why who, in the name of _Diana_, and all the rest of the Maiden _Goddesses_, does tell 'em so, unless it be Doctor _Crambo_ here--If any one calls 'em _Whores_ 'tis he, he that by an assum'd Authority thinks he may say any thing; the Ladies, I dare say for the Poet, were drest in such clean Linnen, and were so far from being Tawdry, that no Scrutineer but our severe Master of Art but wou'd have thought Charitably of 'em.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 142 ~ ~ ~
Well, but huge Rampant _Whores_ they must be with him tho, and through that very mouth that simper'd and primm'd before, as if such a filthy word cou'd not possibly break through: It comes out now in sound and emphasis, and the modest Pen is as prone and ready to write it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 144 ~ ~ ~
Now if the _Absolver_ thought Affectation would appear a vertue in him, he ought to have squeamifyed the before-mention'd Ladies with some title that was new, and if _Smutt_ was chosen to be his fine darling word (and the course one of _Whores_ slipt out of his Mouth, or from his Pen, by misfortune or chance) he should, in my opinion, have given 'em the title of _Smutters_: a primming neat word extremely proper for the occasion: And I hope I shall live to see the Master of Art have Modesty enough to thank me for't; or else (for my fancy wou'd fain oblige him if it cou'd) to make it yet more _German_ to the matter, as _Shakespear_ has it, to call em _Colliers_ would be as significant as any thing; for there's allusion enough to _Smutt_, or the Devil's in't: For, to deal sincerely, and without _Hypocrisie_, I cannot imagine what this learned Gentleman can mean by all that Smutt, Smutt, when the other word is as decent and more significant, unless he banters, or dissembles, or fear'd the Ladies peeping, or is so full of his own name, that he goes along quibbling upon't through his Book, with design that way to make himself more famous.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 169 ~ ~ ~
Another spice of _Immorality_ I believe I can make appear by his Pride, and tho' in other places it is to be found, yet is most fairly instanc'd in his _Book of Essays_, where, tho' we find one Chapter wholly upon that Vice, which, to shew his Justice, begins with a Compliment upon the same _Juvenal_, now he has use for him whom he call'd Pimp before, yet it has not bulk enough to Skreen from us his haughtiness in another, which he calls the _Office of a Chaplain_, for there you shall find he has collected the Spirit of them all, and blended them into one Character; I mean the ill Spirits of the ill _Chaplains_, _those that are good I honour_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 197 ~ ~ ~
he reaches and reaches, and first up comes--egh--_I question whether_--egh--_the torments and despair of the Damn'd_--egh--_dare venture at such flights as these_.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 223 ~ ~ ~
]; and this, tho it be somewhat _Bonnerish_ again, and _Switcher_-like, yet however seems to leer of our side; but then presently in another place he's as zealous for the _Roman_ Sect, and Jesuitically condemns a little wholesom Satyr in the Character of a pamper'd hypocritical covetous _Spanish Fryer_, for incivility in making him a Pimp to _Lorenzo_, and is very angry at the Author for calling this virtuous person _a parcel of holy Guts and Garbidge_, and telling him _that he has room in his Belly for his Church-steeple_; [Footnote: Collier, p.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 276 ~ ~ ~
And the seeds are no less Since that we may guess, But have in all Ages bin growing apace; And Lying and Thieving, Craft, Pride and Deceiving, Rage, Murder and Roaring, Rape, Incest and Whoring, Branch out from Stock, the rank Vices in vogue, And make all Mankind one Gigantical Rogue.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 290 ~ ~ ~
]; but I can give an instance, that our famous _Ben Johnson_, who I will believe had a Conscience as good as the Doctors, and who liv'd in as Pious an Age, in his Comedy call'd the _Devil's an Ass_ [Footnote: Vid.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 291 ~ ~ ~
_Devil's an Ass_, p.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 298 ~ ~ ~
And as 'tis said a Parlous Ass once spoke, When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke, &c. Here he says, _I brought the Ass in only to laugh at the Miracle_: [Footnote: Collier, p.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 326 ~ ~ ~
], only because he eats a Turkey, and drinks a Bottle or two of Malaga for his Breakfast; and the Poet is jerk'd because a gormandizing _Romish_ Priest is call'd a Pimp agen; and the Duke's Steward, _Manuel_, is no _witty pleasant fellow_, because he calls the Chaplain, whom I mentioned in the beginning of my Preface, and who is, no doubt, the sole occasion of this Gentleman's Pique to me--Mr _Cuff-cushion_; and because having an insight into his Character, he tells him, _a Whore is a Pulpit be loves_ [Footnote: Ibid.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 335 ~ ~ ~
Now this considerable person as you find him here, who was indeed for his senseless humour of designing to govern--us'd no otherwise than as the Buffoon of the Family--takes upon him to call _Don Quixot_ (whom the Authour imbellishes, with all manner of learning and good sense, bating his whimsical Chimæra of Knight Errantry,) _Goodman Dulpate_ and _Don Coxcomb_.