Vulgar words in The Adventures of Hajji Baba of Ispahan (Page 1)

This book at a glance

(one's) ass x 1 ass x 24 blockhead x 1 buffoon x 1 knocked up x 1

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But a more extraordinary ass never existed in this world, be his nation what it may.

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I was assured that Ferdousi was a downright ass when compared to me.

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“This is my companion,” said he, “and you must shave him.” “Shave him!” exclaimed the barber, in the greatest surprise; “it is enough that I have consented to demean myself by touching you, and do you insult me by asking me to do as much to your ass?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,046   ~   ~   ~

“Why do you refuse to shave this man’s companion?” said the caliph to the barber: “Was not that your agreement?” Ali, kissing the ground, answered: “’Tis true, O caliph, that such was our agreement; but who ever made a companion of an ass before?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,073   ~   ~   ~

He seemed to reckon a great deal upon the reward that he was to get for bringing the first intelligence of the poet’s safety, and told me that, fearing some other might get the start of him, he had travelled day and night; and added, that the horse, which he now bestrode, belonged to a peasant, from whom he had taken it forcibly on the road, having left his own, which was knocked up, to be brought on after him.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,087   ~   ~   ~

He paid me down one half of the money, and then offered me a half-starved ass in payment of the remainder; but this I refused, and he promised to pay me in full when we met again.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,113   ~   ~   ~

a doubly accented ass.’ I continued wrapt up in these sort of meditations, seated with my back against the wall of one of the crowded avenues which lead to the gate of the royal palace, and had so worked up my imagination by the prospect of my future greatness, that on rising to walk away, I instinctively pushed the crowd from before me, as if such respect from them was due to one of my lofty pretensions.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,130   ~   ~   ~

there is your saddle safe and sound, you can ask no more.’ To the peasant I exclaimed, ‘You could not say more if your beast had actually been killed; take him and walk away, and return thanks to Allah that it is no worse.’ As for the horse-dealer, I inveighed against him with all the bitterness of a man who had been cheated of his property:--‘You have a right to talk indeed of having been deceived, when to this moment you know that you have only paid me one-half of the cost of the horse, and that you wanted to fob me off with a dying ass for the other half.’ I offered to return him the money; but this he refused: he insisted upon my paying him the keep of the horse besides: upon which a new quarrel ensued, in which arguments were used on both sides which convinced neither party, and consequently we immediately adjourned to the _daroga_ or police magistrate, who, we agreed, should decide the question.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,900   ~   ~   ~

Pheasants from Mazanderan were there also, as well as some of the choicest bits of the wild ass and antelope.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,209   ~   ~   ~

Our women, when they get a piece, bore a hole through it, and hang it about their necks by way of ornament; and if we, after a life of hard toil, can scrape up some fifty tomauns, we bury them in the earth, and they give us more anxiety than if we possessed the mountain of light.’[73] Then approaching to put his mouth to my ear, he whispered with great earnestness, ‘You are a Mussulman, in fine, and no ass.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,619   ~   ~   ~

I will stick to what the sage Locman, I believe, once said on this occasion, which runs something to this purpose: “If you are a tiger, be one altogether; for then the other beasts will know what to trust to: but if you wear a tiger’s skin, and long ears are discovered to be concealed therein, they will then treat you even worse than if you walked about in your own true character, an undisguised ass.”’ I kept turning over in my mind whether I should release him or not; and was fluctuating in great perplexity between the ass and the tiger, when Yûsûf returned.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,852   ~   ~   ~

The serdar, ass that he is, instead of waiting for the artillery, and availing himself of the infantry, attacks a walled town with his cavalry only, and is very much surprised that the garrison shut their gates, and fire at him from the ramparts: of course he can achieve nothing, and retires in disgrace.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,058   ~   ~   ~

‘Please God, do you say?’ said he in a fury: ‘am I come all this way that men should call me ass?

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Ass, fool, dolt, that I am, not to have known better.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,401   ~   ~   ~

Keep to your silence, and your sighs, and your shrugs, and your downcast looks, and who is there that will discover you to be an ass?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,879   ~   ~   ~

The mollah bashi (between you and me, be it said) is in every degree an ass,--one who knows as much of religion and its duties, as of Frangistân and its kings.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,883   ~   ~   ~

The thing is easy to be done, and Nadân the man to do it.” ‘The mollah bashi, who, though the cream of blockheads in all other cases, is very quick-sighted when his interest is concerned, caught at my idea, for he foresaw a great harvest of gain for himself.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,898   ~   ~   ~

His establishment consisted of a cook, and a servant who acted in the triple capacity of head-servant, valet, and groom; and his stud, for the present, was composed of one ass.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,899   ~   ~   ~

‘After considerable trouble,’ said he, ‘I have managed to procure a white one, which, you know, is an animal that confers consideration on its rider; but, as my business and my dignity increase, I intend to promote myself to a mule.’ I did not lose this opportunity of informing him that I had a very good one to dispose of; and, after some negotiation, it was decided that we should keep both mule and ass; he, as the dignitary, riding the former, whilst I should be carried about on the humbler beast.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,068   ~   ~   ~

Here, ferashes’ (calling his officers to him), ‘here, tear this wretch’s turban from his head and his cloak from his back; pluck the beard from his chin; tie his hands behind him, place him on an ass with his face to the tail, parade him through the streets, and then thrust him neck and shoulders out of the city, and let his hopeful disciple (pointing to me) accompany him.’ Happy was I not to have been recognized for the lover of the unfortunate Zeenab.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,070   ~   ~   ~

Nadân’s beard was ripped from his chin with as much ease by the ferashes as if they were plucking a fowl; and then, with abundance of blows to hasten our steps, they seized upon the first ass which they met, and mounted the priest, the once proud and ambitious priest, upon it, and paced him slowly through the streets.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,140   ~   ~   ~

I opened it, and read as follows: ‘O my lord and master, ‘The humble inferior who presumes to address the prop of the true faith, the terror of infidels, and the refuge of the sinner, begs leave to lay before him, that after having encountered a thousand difficulties, he has at length succeeded in getting from the peasantry of his villages one hundred tomauns in ready money, besides the fifty _kherwars_, or ass loads of grain: that the man, Hossein Ali, could or would not pay anything, although he had bastinadoed him twice, and he had in consequence taken possession of his two cows: that he would go on beating and exerting himself to the best of his abilities; and if some one was sent for the money which he had now in hand, he would deliver it over upon receiving a proper order.’ The note then finished with the usual form of words from an inferior to his master, and was sealed with a small seal, upon which was impressed Abdul Kerim, the name of the writer.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,311   ~   ~   ~

I have now an opportunity of setting up for a martyr, and _that_, now I recollect it, is worth more than the loss of my worldly goods, my house, my furniture, my white ass, and even my mûties.’ ‘Then what do you propose doing?’ said I.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,621   ~   ~   ~

Are you an ass, that you should start at a shadow?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,865   ~   ~   ~

Had you appeared with a better coat or a richer cap than they, or had you been mounted on a horse, when they could only afford an ass, then, perhaps, nothing more would have been said, but that you were more expert in making your fortune, and a better retailer of your wares.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,921   ~   ~   ~

As for the horses and velvet which I used to bestride, happy should I now be could I claim even an ass for my own.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 5,105   ~   ~   ~

However, as none among our own countrymen could contradict us, we were listened to as oracles, and we exemplified what the poet Al Miei has so justly remarked: ‘That in the country of the dumb the sound of one voice, be it even that of an ass, would be called harmony.’ The English elchi (ambassador) had reached Tehran a few days before we arrived there, and his reception was as brilliant as it was possible for a dog of an unbeliever to expect from our blessed Prophet’s own lieutenant.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 5,313   ~   ~   ~

[Footnote 23: The luties are privileged buffoons, usually keeping monkeys, bears, and other animals.]

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