Vulgar words in Curiosities of Literature, Vol. 1 (of 3) (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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But the tale would not be singular even were it true: it perfectly suits the character of a bigot, a barbarian, and a blockhead.
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Sterne had his countless multitude; and in Fielding's time, Tom Jones produced more bastards in wit than the author could ever suspect.
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The fine description by Akenside of the Pantheon, "SEVERELY great," not being understood by the blockhead, was printed _serenely great_.
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A friar having placed in a window some money collected at the altar, he desired him to take it in his mouth, and throw it on the dung of an ass!
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When any one had cut off an ear of his neighbour's ass, they said to the owner--"Let him have the ass till the ear is grown again, that it may be returned to thee as thou wishest."
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He tells how he had been a serpent, a wild ass, a buck, or a crane, &c.; and this kind of reminiscence of his former state, this recovery of memory, was a proof of the mortal's advances to the happier circle.
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I shall sketch the characters of these pious buffoons, before I introduce them to his acquaintance.
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Don't damn yourselves for them; and remember it would be better to see them drowned than damned.
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He is by some represented as a kind of buffoon in the pulpit; but others more judiciously observe, that he only indulged his natural genius, and uttered humorous and lively things, as the good Father observes himself, to keep the attention of his audience awake.
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While a man was playing on the trump marine, I made my observations on a cat, a dog, a horse, an ass, a hind, cows, small birds, and a cock and hens, who were in a yard, under a window on which I was leaning.
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He is full of devils, lies, blasphemies, and idolatries; he is anti-Christ; the robber of churches; the ravisher of virgins; the greatest of pimps; the governor of Sodom, &c. If the Turks lay hold of us, then we shall be in the hands of the Devil; but if we remain with the Pope, we shall be in hell.--What a pleasing sight would it be to see the Pope and the Cardinals hanging on one gallows in exact order, like the seals which dangle from the bulls of the Pope!
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my little ass!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,380 ~ ~ ~
When he writes against Tillemont, a Lutheran minister, he bestows on him the following titles of honour:--"Polyphemus; an ape; a great ass, who is distinguished from other asses by wearing a hat; an ass on two feet; a monster composed of part of an ape and wild ass; a villain who merits hanging on the first tree we find."
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The Jesuit Raynaud calls Erasmus the "Batavian buffoon," and accuses him of nourishing the egg which Luther hatched.
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Marlow declared him to be "an ass fit only to preach of the iron age."
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We may smile when he calls a blockhead, a blockhead; a dotard, a dotard; but when he attacks, for a difference of opinion, the _morals_ of another man, our sensibility is alarmed.
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Truly, my lord, I confess that for want of scholarship, I could not express myself so well as otherwise I might have done in those philosophical writings I published first; but after I was returned with your lordship into my native country, and led a retired country life, I applied myself to the reading of philosophical authors, on purpose to learn those names and words of art that are used in schools; which at first were so hard to me, that I could not understand them, but was fain to guess at the sense of them by the whole context, and so writ them down, as I found them in those authors; at which my readers did wonder, and thought it impossible that a woman could have so much learning and understanding in terms of art and scholastical expressions; so that I and my books are like the old apologue mentioned in Æsop, of a father and his son who rid on an ass."
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From this yawning cave the devils themselves constantly ascended to delight and to instruct the spectators:--to delight, because they were usually the greatest jesters and buffoons that then appeared; and to instruct, for that they treated the wretched mortals who were delivered to them with the utmost cruelty, warning thereby all men carefully to avoid the falling into the clutches of such hardened and remorseless spirits."
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I have seen an English ass once introduced on our stage which did not act with this decorum.
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The Romance of "The Golden Ass," by Apuleius, which contains the beautiful tale of "Cupid and Psyche," remains unrivalled; while the "Däphne and Chloe" of Longus, in the old version of Amyot, is inexpressibly delicate, simple, and inartificial, but sometimes offends us, for nature there "plays her virgin fancies."
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He was rather the _arch-buffoon_ than the _arch-poet_ of Leo.