Vulgar words in My Secret Life, Volumes I. to III. - 1888 Edition (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 40 ~ ~ ~
I loved cunt, but also she who had it; I like the woman I fucked and not simply the cunt I fucked, and therein is a great difference.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 41 ~ ~ ~
I recollect even now in a degree which astonishes me, the face, color, stature, thighs, backside, and cunt, of well nigh every woman I have had, who was not a mere casual; and even of some who were.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 47 ~ ~ ~
When I have named the number of times I have fucked a woman in my youth, I may occasionally be in error, it is difficult to be quite accurate on such points after a lapse of time.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 73 ~ ~ ~
What strikes me as curious in reading it, is the monotony of the course I have pursued toward women who were not of the gay class; it has been as similar, and repetitive as fucking itself; do all men act so, does every man kiss, coax, hint smuttily, then talk baudily, snatch a feel, smell his fingers, assault, and win, exactly as I have done?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 76 ~ ~ ~
A conclave of whores telling the truth, and of Romish Priests, could alone settle the point.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 105 ~ ~ ~
I expect I must have seen her cunt, as I sat beside her naked thigh.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 106 ~ ~ ~
Looking towards her and crying about my broken drum, and when I saw her hand moving no doubt she was frigging.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 107 ~ ~ ~
Yet I have not the slightest recollection of her cunt, nor of anything more than I have told.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 109 ~ ~ ~
The oddest thing is, that whilst I early recollected more or less clearly what took place two or three years later on, and ever afterwards, on sexual matters; and what I said, heard, and did, and nearly consecutively, this my first recollection of cock, and cunt, escaped my memory for full twenty years.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 117 ~ ~ ~
I could not, as the reader will hear, thoroughly uncover my prick tip without pain, till I was sixteen years old nor well then when quite stiff unless it went up a cunt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 126 ~ ~ ~
I suppose, I must have slipped down in my sleep, till my head laid against her belly, and cunt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 127 ~ ~ ~
Some years afterwards when I got the smell of another woman's cunt on my fingers, it at once reminded me of the smell I had under my nose in the bed; and I knew at a flash, that I had smelt cunt before, and recollected where, but no more.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 151 ~ ~ ~
That was the first time I recollect seeing the hair of a cunt, though I must have seen it before, for I recollect at times a female (most likely a nursemaid) stand naked, but don't recollect noticing anything black between her thighs, nor did I think about it at all afterwards.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 163 ~ ~ ~
My cousin then told me that girls had no cock, but only a hole they piddled out of, we were always talking about them, but I don't recollect the word cunt, nor that I attached any lewd idea to a girl's piddling hole, or to their cocks being flat, an expression heard I think at the same period.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 172 ~ ~ ~
We wondered how the piddle came out, if they wetted their legs and if the hole was near the bum hole, or where; one day Fred and I pissed against each others cocks, and thought it excellent fun.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 174 ~ ~ ~
I would listen at the bed room doors, if I could get near them unobserved, when my mother, sister, the governess, or a servant went in, hoping to hear the rattle and often succeeded: it was accompanied by no sexual desire, or idea, as far as I can recollect; I had no cockstand, and am sure, that I then did not know that the women had a hole called a cunt, and used it for fucking.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 200 ~ ~ ~
I would not; the other lady helped to lift me, I pushed my hands up the petticoats of the governess, felt the hair of her cunt, and that there was something warm, and moist, between her thighs.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 239 ~ ~ ~
"Ain't you green," said he, "a girl's hole isn't called a cock, it's a cunt, they fuck with it," and then he told me all he knew.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 242 ~ ~ ~
I had a vague idea, though not a belief, that a cock and cunt, were not made for pissing only.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 243 ~ ~ ~
Fred treated me as a simpleton in these matters, and was always calling me an ass; I have quite a painful recollection of my inferiority to him, in such things, and of begging him to instruct me.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 250 ~ ~ ~
Fred remarked to me, "it comes out of their cunts, and it's made by fucking."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 252 ~ ~ ~
Walking near the market-town with him just at the outskirts, and looking up a side-road, we saw a pedler woman squat down and piss.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 253 ~ ~ ~
We stopped short and looked at her: she was a short-petticoated, thick-legged, middle-aged woman; the piss ran off in a copious stream, and there we stood grinning.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 261 ~ ~ ~
She had a large basket of crockery for sale, it was put down in the main-road at the angle; she had just turned round into the side lane to piss.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 262 ~ ~ ~
We ran off, and when well away, turned round and shouted at her, "I saw your cunt," Fred bawled out;--she flung another stone.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 265 ~ ~ ~
I recollect feeling full of envy at Fred's having seen her cunt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 266 ~ ~ ~
Though writing now, and having in my mind's eye, exactly how the woman squatted, and the way her petticoats hung, I am sure he never did see it; it was brag when he said he had, but we were always talking about girls' cunts, the desire to see one was great, and I then believed that he had seen the pedlar woman's.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 268 ~ ~ ~
I wondered at the cunt being a long sort of gash, I had an idea that it was round, like an arse-hole.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 269 ~ ~ ~
Fred told his friend I was an ass, but I could not get the idea of a cunt, not being a round hole quite out of my head, until I had fucked a woman.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 273 ~ ~ ~
Fred incited me to look at her cunt, if I could manage it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 280 ~ ~ ~
I only had a momentary glimpse, of the outside of the little quim, for I was not a minute in the room with the child by myself altogether, and was fearful of being caught all the time I was looking.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 293 ~ ~ ~
His sisters were somewhat older, and we began to scheme how to see their cunts, when I was on a visit to his mother's (my aunt,) which was to come off in the holidays.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 294 ~ ~ ~
The look of the little child's cunt, as I described it, convinced him that the picture was correct, and that a cunt was a long slit, and not a round hole.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 300 ~ ~ ~
When I went out, which I was now allowed to do for short distances by myself, I copied what was on the walls, to tell Fred, it was foul, baudy language of some sort, but the only thing we understood at all, was the word cunt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 301 ~ ~ ~
Just then, being out with some boys, we saw two dogs fucking.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 306 ~ ~ ~
My godfather.--At Hampton-Court.--My aunt's backside.-- Public baths.--My cousins' cunts.--Haymaking frolics.-- Family difficulties.--School amusements.--A masturbating relative.--Romance and sentiment.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 311 ~ ~ ~
He repeated this so often, that it sunk deeply into my mind, and made me uneasy, something was to happen to me, if I did something--I did not know what--it was intended as a caution against frigging, and it had good effect on me I am sure in various ways in the after time.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 325 ~ ~ ~
"Now, it's a lie, isn't it, you did not feel her cunt?"
~ ~ ~ Sentence 343 ~ ~ ~
Said Fred, "if you dodge the gardiners, creep up there, and lay on your belly quietly, some girls will be sure to come, and piss, you'll see them pull their clothes up as they turn round, I saw some before you came to stay with us."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 346 ~ ~ ~
Fred so excited me about the girls' arses, as he called them, that we never lost an opportunity of trying for a sight, but were generally baulked.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 349 ~ ~ ~
A very hot day, for we kept in the shady walks, one of which led to the place where women hid themselves to piss.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 351 ~ ~ ~
Said Fred, "I'm sure they are going to piss, that's why they want to get rid of us."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 353 ~ ~ ~
As we got there, pushing aside the leaves, we saw the big backside of a woman, who was half standing, half squatting, a stream of piss falling in front of her, and a big hairy gash, as it seemed, under her arse; but only for a second, she had just finished as we got the peep, let her clothes fall, tucked them between her legs, and half turned round.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 357 ~ ~ ~
Two or three did, one said, "you watch if anyone is coming," squatted and piddled, we could not see her cunt, but only part of her legs, and the piddle splashing in front of her.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 358 ~ ~ ~
Then came the second, she had her arse towards us, sat so low, that we could not even see the tips of her buttocks.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 361 ~ ~ ~
Nevertheless the sights were very delightful to us, and we used to discuss his mother's "wopper" and the hair, and the look of the gash, but I thought there must be some mistake, for it was not the idea I had formed of a cunt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 377 ~ ~ ~
come Wat, come softly, Lucy and Mary are quite naked, you can see their cunts, Lucy has some black hair on hers."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 381 ~ ~ ~
Lucy, fifteen years old, was laying half on her side, naked from her knees to her waist, the bed-clothes kicked off (I suppose through heat), were dragging across her feet and partly laying on the floor; we saw her split, till lost in the closed thighs, she had a little dark short hair over the top of her cunt, and that is all I can recollect about it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 382 ~ ~ ~
Mary-Ann by the side of her, a year younger only, laid on her back, nacked up to her navel, just above which was her night-gown in a heap and ruck; she had scarcely a sign of hair on her cunt, but a vermillion line, lay right through her crack.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 383 ~ ~ ~
Projecting more towards the top, where her cunt began, she had what I now know was a strongly developed clitoris; she was a lovely girl and had long chestnut hair.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 384 ~ ~ ~
Whilst we looked she moved one leg up in a restless manner, and we bobbed down, thinking she was awaking; when we looked again, her limbs were more open, and we saw the cunt till it was pinched up, by the closing of her buttocks.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 385 ~ ~ ~
In fear of being caught, we soon crept out, closed the door ajar, and regained our bedroom, so delighted that we danced with joy, as we talked about the look of the two cunts; of which, after all, we had only had a most partial, rapid glimpse.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 390 ~ ~ ~
you have but little idea, that I have seen your cunt."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 391 ~ ~ ~
She was unfortunate; married a cavalry officer, went to India with him, was left at a station unavoidably by her husband, who was sent on a campaign, for a whole year; could not bear being deprived of cock, and was caught in the act of fucking with a drummer boy, a mere lad.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 393 ~ ~ ~
She was a salacious young woman, I think from what I recollect of her, and am told, was afterwards fucked by a lot of men; but it was a sore point with the family, and all about her was kept quiet.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 395 ~ ~ ~
Many years before that, I fucked a nurse-maid, she laying on that table, in the very same summer-house, as I shall presently tell.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 396 ~ ~ ~
Fred and I used to discuss the look of his sisters' and mother's cunts, as if they had belonged to strangers.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 397 ~ ~ ~
The redness of the line in Mary-Ann's quim astonished us.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 398 ~ ~ ~
I do not recollect having even then, formed any definite notion of what a girl's cunt was, though we had seen the splits, but had still, and till much further on, the notion that the hole was round, and close to where the clitoris is, having no idea then of what a clitoris was, though we had got an Aristotle and used to read it greedily; the glimpse of the two cunts were but momentary, and our excitement confused our recollections.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 399 ~ ~ ~
Fred and I then formed a plot to look at another girl's cunt; who the girl was, I don't know, it may have been another of Fred's sisters, or a cousin by another of my aunts, but I think not; at all events she was stopping in aunt's house, and from her height, which was less than that of Fred and myself, I should think a girl of about eleven or twelve years of age.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 408 ~ ~ ~
My aunt and others were in the very field, but had no idea of the game we were playing, the girl romping with us, had no idea, that we were looking at her cunt, and an instantaneous peep only it was.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 409 ~ ~ ~
What effect sensuously, these glimpses of cunt, had on me, I don't know; but have no recollection of sexual desire, nor of mine nor Fred's cock being stiff.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 411 ~ ~ ~
I clearly recollect our talking at that time about fucking, and wondering if it were true or a lie.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 412 ~ ~ ~
We could repeat what we had read, and heard, but it still seemed improbable to me that a cock should go up a cunt, and the result be a child.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 416 ~ ~ ~
I think I went to school, though not long before what I am going to tell of happened, but am not certain, if so, I must have seen boys frigging; yet as far as I can arrange in my mind the order of events, I first saw a boy doing that, in my own bed-room at home.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 422 ~ ~ ~
Awaking one morning, I felt his belly up against my rump, and his feeling or pushing his prick against my arse, putting my hand back, I pushed him away; then I found it pushing quickly backwards and forwards between my thighs, and his hand, passed over my hips, was grasping my cock.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 425 ~ ~ ~
The next night undressing, he showed me his prick, stiff, as he sat naked on a chair; it was an exceedingly long, but thin article; he told me about frigging, and said he would frig me, if I would frig him.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 428 ~ ~ ~
Even now, as it did then, the evening seemed to me a nasty unpleasant one, yet I let him get hold of my prick and frig it, but had no sensation of pleasure, he said, "your skin won't come off, what a funny prick;" that annoyed me, and I would not let him do more; we talked till our candle burnt out; he stamped out the sperm on the carpet, saying the servants would think we had been spitting.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 430 ~ ~ ~
Afterwards he frigged himself several times before me, and at his request I frigged him, wondering at the result, and amused, yet at the same time much disgusted.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 431 ~ ~ ~
When frigging him one day; he said it was lovely to do it in an arse-hole, that he and his brother took it in turns that way: it was lovely, heavenly!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 436 ~ ~ ~
I told my cousin Fred about this when I saw him; Fred believed in the frigging, but thought him a liar about the arse-hole business, just as I did.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 437 ~ ~ ~
This was the first time I ever saw frigging and male semen, and it opened my eyes.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 450 ~ ~ ~
I think there were five or six together in the privy, then it was cocks-all-round, and every boy frigged himself.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 455 ~ ~ ~
I don't think I was one of the party again, though I saw each of the same boys frig himself in the privy when alone with me, at some time or another.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 463 ~ ~ ~
"Let's frig," said he; we were only allowed to be away five minutes.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 464 ~ ~ ~
Out he pulled his prick, then out I pulled mine; he tried to pull my skin back, and could only half do it, he frigged himself successfully, but I could not.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 467 ~ ~ ~
I frigged that boy one day, but finding my cock was becoming a talk among our set, I shrunk from going to their frigging parties, which I have seen even take place in a field, boys sitting at the edge of a ditch, whilst one stood up to watch if anyone approached.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 468 ~ ~ ~
When they were frigging in the privy, a boy always stood in the open door on the watch, and his time for frigging came afterwards.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 470 ~ ~ ~
Before I had seen anyone frig, I had been permitted to read novels, not a moment of my time when not at studies was I without one.
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